Maine
by pinkydog123
Summary: Bella hits something/someone. Bittersweet 1/2DarkWARD
1. Chapter 1

**I was driving home the other night, it was rainy, pitch black and very foggy. I decided to take a back road, bypassing the highway, just because I love the way the trees make a canopy over the road, deserted for that time of night.**

**That's when this popped into my head, at least the beginning of this story, the rest just kind of flew from there. **

**Don't ask me why, or what, because I have no idea where it came from, just bare with me. **

**There will be 3 chapters, the same length as this one.**

**Don't worry, if my exams go okay, I'll be updating Impossible soon after this, I have everything typed already.**

**Reviews are awesome awesome awesome partners.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I did watch Interview with a Vampire the other day though.**

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**The only reasonable station I could find that didn't play country was one that played hard metal.

So, here I was, driving a deserted interstate road in Maine surrounded by nothing but dense forests, allowing Breaking Benjamin to play in the background of my Outback. When Charlie found out I was going to move closer to my brother, instead of trying to convince me to stay or giving me a lecture on how irresponsible it sounded like a normal parent; he went out and bought me the car what I now consider my baby.

Ironically enough, _I_ ended up giving my Dad a lecture on the irresponsibility of spending a fourth of his retirement fund to buy a car that I didn't need; typically, he ended up guffawing at my failed attempt to demand that he take it back.

And knowing Charlie, he spared no expense whenever it came to what he called 'my safety' when really he just wanted to dote on me one final time before I left him for Emmett.

When I say Charlie spared no expense, I really mean it. My Outback had interior leather, four wheel drive, six shift standard, leather trimmed shift knob, and short throw shifter. The XM radio ironically enough doesn't get any reception all the way out here in Narnia. My car also has 100-watt power outlet, weather safety kit, hood protector, side window deflectors, rear bumper corner moldings, and an enforced bumper covering. The list is endless.

For the fifth time in the last ten minutes, I consulted my GPS, and I think even the little computer was confused.

_This was a bad idea._

That measly voice rang in my head, and I couldn't help but agree with it. To save extra time for the next day, I decided to drive to a town sixty-five miles farther than where I had originally planned to lodge. I was anxious to see Emmett.

That was a mistake, since this was Maine; it probably entered winter two months faster than the whole country, and nightfall came quicker. It was seven o'clock at night and pitch black. There was nothing but me, Rodger (my GPS), my floodlights, Breaking Benjamin and the black asphalt with those yellow reflector strips. Even the moon kept sinking and disappearing in the trees around me.

Although the heat was on full blast, I felt a violent shiver ride up my spine. I burrowed deeper into my coat, feeling the ice-cold blade of fear crawl up my throat, causing it to close. I couldn't help the slow, crippling paranoia that started to force its way into my consciousness.

A whisper, mainly the haze and itching feeling that someone was beside me, my head jerked to the side, only to be met with the ghostly pale and ominous tree trunks zinging by me. The full moon only creating a silver glow of something not yet awakened.

_This was a bad idea._

My breath itched, my lips dry down to my throat, I reached for the water bottle sitting in my cup holder, taking a swig, the "ice cold" liquid not helping at all it only reminded me of my internal organs and how long I'd been cold in this state, this side of the country really. Of course growing up along the Olympic Peninsula I was quite use to being cold, but up here, it was something completely different.

This was incredibly bone chilling, where the air seemed to seep into the tissue and muscle and stay there, making it impossible to get warm. I couldn't feel my ears or nose, reaching over I attempted to point the vent to my face, even though it already was and the heater was up as high as the dial would allow.

Trying to get my mind off things I let my eyes drift up towards the sky, a blanket of stars dotting a path to the moon, something positive that I already knew I would like about this place.

There were so many stars, so many constellations I could make out just right here driving amongst a road; each facet seeming brighter then the next. I could get lost in star gazing, and usually did, a heart wrenching decision I had to make back home, I wanted to make this move as cheap as possible, thus taking everything myself.

Unfortunately a thirteen foot telescope, even taken apart wouldn't have fit in my baby, leaving me with no choice, but to leave it safely with Charlie. I had discovered many a constellation with that, memories that would be kept tucked away in my closet.

With a sigh my eyes fell back to the wet road.

That's when I heard an ear piercing scream tearing through my ears as my hands tightened around the wheel.

I realized that it was mine too late to react.

My foot slammed on the brake, forgetting to down shift properly as I took in the black figure standing stock still in the middle of this abandoned, vacant road.

_I can't, I can't, I can't! I'm going to_ hit _him. _

Fair enough, even though I had swerved sloppily to the left, my car slammed into his body full force. A maddening screeching and scraping sound filled the air that seemed to stay at a standstill, everything slowing down as I hit the figure. The body slipped under my car, it sounded like I was running over boulders and rock, not a person. The body sounded as though it was denting the undercarriage and jerking and jostling the car until the off balance seemed to thrust me into the ditch amongst side the road.

I immediately let out a groan/sob as my chest was forced into the steering wheel, igniting the airbag within, the rough rubber slamming into my face, scratching at my forehead and cheek, pushing me back into my seat like a rag-doll.

With ragged breaths I tried to collect my bearings, first trying to believe if any of this just happened, it didn't seem real, that someone would just be _standing _in the middle of an interstate late at night, especially with how _cold_ it was outside. I immediately berated myself for not paying attention to the road in the first place, especially at night when the road was wet to begin with.

With a groan I pushed at the air-bag.

_Stupid piece of shit._

I sluggishly lifted up my arm feeling like I was moving it through thick sludge; everything still seemed to be going in slow motion.

I willed myself to wake up to get through with opening the door, I knew I would probably go into shock soon, I felt the warm thick froth dripping down my chin, and sticking to my hair as it began to dry.

_I at least need to get to my phone._

I let out a cry of frustration as I yanked at the door handle countless times, it was jammed.

My breathing started to pick up, I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate, a panic attack would _not _help at a time like this. I slowly turned my neck to the side, trying to focus over on the passenger seat to locate my bag with my cellphone inside, but it was pitch black and I couldn't see a thing and my brain started to pound insistently against my skull.

I looked back to my side and that's when I saw the figure:

It's movements were jerky and sloppy, toppled over on the asphalt, I felt like I would be sick, knowing that was the guy I ran over, probably taking his last breaths as he laid there cold and dying, along with me, pathetically trapped inside my car.

A hand of terror gripped my heart and throat as the form began to move, to stand up, head turned in a disgusting, unnatural position.

A panic attack slammed full force then, as the body turned, facing my direction, the neck cracking back to place; head up right.

It then began to move slowly, lazily to the ditch where my car was totaled, I could only sit and stare as I tried to convince myself this was a nightmare, a horrible nightmare.

_Wake up, wake up!_

And that's when I did.

My eyes sprang open with a jerk of my body, taking in the foggy light that seeped into my room.

But this wasn't my room.

"No, don't worry, you're safe now."

I jumped in panic, a form appearing in the doorway.

Instead of being met with that – creature like I remember, I was met with a warm smile. He had obviously recognized my blatant fear. He proceeded slowly setting a bar of chocolate still in the wrapper on the bedside table next to me.

"Eat this, you'll feel better," he spoke softly, taking a seat on a rocking chair in the sparse room.

I took in my surroundings, a simple quilt covering me, wood paneling, a bedside table, lamp, wood furnishings, and the rocking chair in which this stranger sat; light leaking through a four paneled window to my left.

I still felt on-edge being in a bed next to this stranger, containing no knowledge of previous events or where I even was, alone with a man, who for all I know could be a mass murderer, not to mention, I felt like I had been hit by a train, my body feeling like it didn't cooperate with me.

_I feel so _weak_._

However, I could feel the stretch of skin as I turned this way and that; he had bandaged up the cuts on my cheekbone and forehead.

I turned back to the chocolate, eyeing it warily, and then eyeing him with just as much caution.

He returned it with a smirk, "You have no reason to fear me, in fact, it's my job to help people like you; I was patrolling earlier and saw the damage you managed to do to your car, with alarm I also noticed you were still in it to begin with. I only live a couple miles off of the interstate so I brought you here, if you wish I will take you to the hospital now."

He chuckled as I quickly shook my head, I _hated_ hospitals.

I cocked an eyebrow, this stranger automatically picking up on what I was asking.

"I'm a park ranger, nothing really exciting goes on around here, mostly wild-life preserve, but you, you were the first interesting thing to drop in my lap all year," his eyes sparked for unknown reason, and I couldn't decide whether it could be brushed aside, or stored away for later.

He shifted in his seat then, clearing his throat.

"You're still in your clothes from the incident, I laid some aside for you, after that, I can drive you to your wreckage and you can salvage what is left, and after that – well, I feel it is my duty to take you to wherever you were headed off to."

He gave me a pointed look then and I realized he was expecting a name.

"Oh…um I –"still trying to figure out if I could even trust him from the get-go, his eyes stayed on mine, calculating, a fierce concentration upholding his features as he seemed to be studying me in my confusion. He swallowed again, my eyes drifting to his throat as he did it a second time automatically.

That's when I decided to make my decision, whether I trusted him or not, he was my one way to get to Emmett, and to get away from him.

He cocked his head to the side then, shifting in his seat.

"You did come here for someone…didn't you?"

His lips curling around his words, lifting up at the corners, parting to show perfect, flawless white teeth, I felt ruffled in the middle of this bed, noticing his fingers curling around the arms of the rocker, as if he were forcing himself to stay seated.

I nodded slowly, words failing me; this statement visibly relaxing him.

"So tell me and I will take you to him," his voice strained.

I bristled at this, his tone making me feel as if he knew _exactly_ who he was.

I would have answered him, but his eyes landed on my forehead, right when I noticed warmth building on the base of the skin. I needed to change the dressing, the head wound still bleeding, and it should have clotted by now, that realization having a dizzying effect.

"Let me help you," he neared, and I tilted my head back so his hand wouldn't make contact.

His black eyes met mine than and I gasped by how bottomless they were, I thought I caught a spark of anger in the nothingness, but it left just as quickly as it came.

That's when I knew, it didn't matter how I got out of here, just as long as I got far away from his as possible.

Slowly he leaned closer, his body bending at the waist as his gaze stayed concentrated on mine, his stare unwavering in his intensity. My throat closed up and I was speechless, fear building up in my chest.

"What…" I breathed, but my mouth immediately closed as his right hand slipped behind my neck, his head tilting to the side as he swallowed once more, and again.

"I…I…"I realized I didn't even know his name and he didn't known mine, and if he kept up with this, then he would end up kissing me soon, a stranger who picked me up on the side of the road after an accident. That shocked me out of my funk.

"The body!"

"Come again?" Unfortunately he just stayed where he was, his breath washing over my face, drawing me in, my head leaning towards him, rational thought out the window once again.

"I – I'm pretty sure I ran over so-someone, I didn't mean to! But he was just st-standing there, and I panicked and I – "

My sentence ended on a sob, both his hands immediately cupping either side of my head, surprising me by his tenderness.

"Hey, look-look at me, there was _no one_, I only found you," he emphasized, his lips coming dangerously close brushing against mine in fact, a feather soft touch to my own.

"Say it – no one was there but you," he repeated, both hands smoothing over my neck, his thumbs tapping at either side, rubbing against the pulse points. He was practically on top of me by then, this stranger who happened to save me from the wreck; we could be in the middle of the woods for all I knew. He could ravage me, and leave me dead on the forest floor, and no one would be the wiser.

Emmett would file a missing persons report maybe a few days from now, I could be miles off from any known road or town, the search party would only last a few months before announcing me dead, immediately declaring me a cold case.

_No one would know._

And yet…I found myself leaning into him, simply by his powerful hypnotic gaze, desperate to please him, to make him happy, so I repeated:

"No one was there, but me," I breathed, suddenly and pathetically wanton.

"Good," he stated, taking my lips in between his teeth and biting down.

I gasped and whimpered as blood began to curl between my gums, his tongue suddenly slithering its way into my mouth, collecting any and all traces. Disgust unraveled in my gut and I tried to push him back to get away when I realized what he was doing.

This wasn't normal, I shouldn't be here, he wasn't normal, he shouldn't be here, this wasn't real, and I was dreaming, this had to be a dream. This was completely bizarre.

_This isn't real._

He chuckled against my struggles, the effort fruitless as he gathered my wrists above my head, a groan escaping as I felt my bruised torso from the wreck; I gasped and cried out, tears running torrents down my cheeks.

"Please," I begged, pushing against his chest, but he just laughed against my neck, terror crippling as I felt an unnatural sharp poke from his _teeth_, against the chords of muscle.

Why can't I wake _up_?

His knees were on either side of my waist; I was consumed by this monster, by him, by his smell, by the feeling of him, by the hunger that emitted off of him in waves as he scraped his canines against my skin. His other hand cupped my chin then his lips coming up to flesh over mine and I was faced with crashing waves of confusion, anger, passion, frustration, fright, desperation and want.

I sobbed against his hungry, painfully tender kisses. I could feel my face relaxing at his lulling pull, his lips encompassing my bottom one, tugging, teasing, nibbling and sucking.

Confliction overpowered my lungs, torn between what I knew and what I was feeling, which was a collection of conflictions within themselves. His torso pressed up against mine, mindful of the bruises that must've formed.

His proximity only caused me to sink further into the mattress as he continued his onslaught, his forehead pressing to the top of my head after a while.

I was too frightened and too confused by my reaction to move a muscle; both our breaths mingling within the same air, I myself trying to slow down my heart and lung intake.

I suddenly realized why I felt so weak in the first place.

_Had he done _that _when I was unconscious? _

Even if I could control my body, I felt my mind falling into darkness.

When I came to, the room was dark, but I knew I wasn't alone. I had the feeling that fear was going to become a recurring neighbor.

I heard his footsteps on the hardwood floor and I let out a cry as I saw his black figure approaching the bed in quick strides. An unexpected soft hand fell to my forehead, his silken voice filling the room.

"You must sleep," as he said this, I could feel a dark veil encompassing my mind, but I pulled back, automatically the curtain pulling away.

He _was doing that!_

"Stop that!" Mustering what little courage I had.

"You're not very intelligent are you?" He chuckled.

I growled, glaring into the darkness, "Smart enough to know you're obviously not human," I quipped.

A silent icy calm fell over the bedroom.

"What makes you think that?" He was amused! His form walked around the bed, my hands instinctively pulling the covers up to cover myself.

I turned my head away, looking at the doorway, the clichéd predicament I found myself in.

"And to think Emmett was exaggerating," I muttered to myself.

He still caught on.

"Emmett?" He was alarmed by this, I could tell that much.

He was beside me in a flash then, I let out a gasp by his close proximity in so little time. His hand gripped my neck, his nose brushing up against mine as he inhaled deeply. I could even make out the abyss of nothing in those pitch black eyes in this dark room.

"I've the mind to suck you dry," he whispered, a gasp breaking through my lips at his blunt words, his forehead pressing against mine as his lips trailed around my eyelids.

"But this will have to do," he murmured.

I had no time to collect my bearings until I felt his teeth sink into the skin on the side of my neck, a piercing scream sliced the air around us as I felt the disgusting, horrendous pull as he began to drink from the artery. I felt sick and dirty at the quiver in my gut as a groan vibrated through his chest.

Pull, pull, pull.

I felt the tug at the side of my neck and I couldn't believe I was here with this monster like this, this only happened in horror movies.

I was supposed to see Emmett; I was supposed to be driving in my car, on my way to his house, to look at real estate and settle, to get a job. I was supposed to make a life here, and I only ended up in this _house_ with this creature that had the power to end it.

"Please stop," I felt the plea leave my lips, but now I was having an out of body experience, I wasn't me anymore, I was hovering over the bed now, watching myself get mauled by this man.

"Please," I cried, weakly beating at his back, feeling my heart beat slow, I was now in my body, God wouldn't let me cheat death, no I would have to feel all the pain and selfish agony before I died.

"Shh," he shushed me, and that's when I fell.

I awoke with a loud cry.

I felt powerful arms wrap around me and I felt trapped.

"Stop! Please!" I have never felt so afraid before, I couldn't think or even breathe, I could feel my lungs trying to pull in air, but they were trying too hard, nothing was working, my brain was too busy registering how frightened I felt, terror coursing through me with a vengeance.

I sobbed and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Heart rate is skyrocketing, sedate her."

I felt a prick, pulling back with a piercing cry, remembering sharp teeth pressing against my skin like that, but then the arms that were around me were surprisingly soft and comforting and I found myself drifting off.

"Bella? Baby Belle?"

There was only one person who would call me that.

I opened my eyes to see Emmett sitting in a chair next to my bed.

_How did he get here? _

It didn't matter, it didn't matter because he was here, and I knew Emmett would always keep me safe. Ever since we were kids, he always lived up to being the over-protective big brother. Back then I always hated it, but now I felt like I needed him more than ever.

"Em," I felt tears well up but he was already enveloping me in his smell and comforts, immediately making me feel better.

"Jesus, do you realize how worried I was? It made me regret ever convincing Dad to let you come up here," he breathed in my hair, squeezing me tighter to his chest, I didn't mind.

"Does Daddy know?" I asked my voice small, coming out in a croak.

"Yes, I had to use every trick in the book to get him to stay home, we both know if he came up here then you would never leave his sight again," he stated.

"I heard the accident on the radio, I heard from the guys down at work it was a girl in a wreck telling us that she was pretty banged up, but then I got a call from the hospital, God Bella, don't ever do that to me," he pulled me tighter, practically lifting me off the bed.

I felt the tears escape then, thinking what would I do without him, without Dad.

He chuckled wetly, pulling back to kiss my forehead, "You know Dad and I would go out of our minds without you there," he smiled, the usual light not reaching his eyes.

"When can we leave?" I sniffed, still keeping him within arm's length; I didn't want him out of my sight.

"As soon as the doc discharge's you, get some sleep…I'll be right here when you wake up," he caught on at the show of fear when I thought he would leave.

And with my hand encompassed by his, I let my eyes drift closed.

* * *

"I'm sorry about your car, what'd you hit, a deer? The guys over at the station said it was a mystery."

"Yeah…" I breathed, coming back to mind what happened.

Had I dreamt it? Was it just trauma from the crash? Maybe I had been unconscious sitting in my car the entire time.

I relaxed back in my seat, letting myself believe that, willing my mind to forget what it must've fabricated.

I looked out my window of Emmett's truck, taking in the newly fallen snow and trees. About the only thing there was to see around here, like I said, very similar to where we grew up.

But no creature like that had ever existed back home.

I couldn't help the images that flashed behind my eyes, violent, scary and gut-wrenching. I flinched in my seat, Emmett noticing.

"You okay Bella? Come on, we're almost home, than you can go lie down, leave the unpacking to me," he gave me a dimpled smile, completely void from his eyes.

_Home. _I could do this.

We arrived to Emmett's house, a little two story looking cottage surrounded by trees attached to a long drive way. It really was beautiful around here, but I couldn't help the creeping wariness of the constant canopy of trees surrounding the yard, a dense forest on either side.

_Anything could be lurking in the shadows. _

_Stop it. _

Emmett helped me down from his truck even though I was fine, just a couple bruised ribs, he and Charlie always fussed over me.

The baby girl, always so little, delicate and fragile like a flower, I hated it growing up.

I felt like it now.

I always wanted to be tough like the big boys, like my older brother and Dad.

Now I felt like a wimpy little girl, incapable of doing anything, scared of everything.

"The bedrooms upstairs to your right, sleep well Bells; I'll have dinner in the oven before I leave."

I forgot about that, Emmett was an EMT and he worked nights, I would be here in this drafty house by myself overnight, probably the worst time.

Fear gripped me; crippling me and making me stumble on the stairs.

Of course Emmett was right there, coddling me like always.

"I don't have to go in tonight if you don't want me to Bella, I can call someone to cover, how's that sound?" he asked, directing me up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"No, I'm fine, you need to work and I'm fine," I insisted, pushing him away. I just wanted a place to rest my head, I just needed to sleep to forget these delusions that I couldn't push out of my head. I couldn't tell Emmett because he would just think I was crazy. After all it was crazy.

Emmett eyed me for a second, unconvinced, of course he and Charlie both could always see right through me, probably over the fact that I was just a horrible liar period.

After a while he finally nodded, kissing my forehead and leaving me to dress out of the hospital's scrubs.

"I'll wake you up before I leave," he called over his shoulder; I nodded to myself and practically collapsed on top of the bed.

"You're not very intelligent are you? Bella?"

A sick laugh and cold, clammy hands, I could see sharp fangs and glowing red eyes. I felt sharp pinches and piercing bites, I heard my screams and pleas and his heartless chuckles.

"I've the mind to suck you dry. Bella."

I shook my head, how could this be happening again? I saw Emmett! I should be in his house safe, he was supposed to keep me safe.

"No one was there, but me. Bella."

"Bella, Bella, wake up,"

I flinched at the hand on my shoulder, only seeing hazelnut brown when I opened my eyes.

"It's okay sweetie," he cooed, his voice soft and completely Emmett, "sorry to wake you, but I'm heading out, are you sure you want me to leave still?"

_No, don't worry, you're safe now._

I shivered at that voice, feeling as if it would always haunt me.

Emmett's eyes traveled over my face, probably trying to figure out for himself.

"I'm staying," he stated.

"No! Emmett, you have to go, I don't want to keep you from your work," I tried to reason, while internally asking myself what I was saying, of course I wanted him to stay, I didn't want to be in this house alone. Especially if I kept having images and phantom voices pop into my head all the time.

"Bella, I told you, all I've been doing is working, I'm sure the station won't mind if I take the night off for my baby sister who was just in an accident," he reasoned.

I clutched the blanket to my chest, my gaze falling on the window; I jumped back to the headboard in alarm with a scream as I saw a black figure, at the window, its head turned towards _me_.

"What? What is it?"

Emmett rushed to the window; pulling back the blinds and yanking open the pane to stick his head out the window. I waited, curled in a ball, thinking that something was about to jump up and out the window, but we were only met with cold air.

Emmett thankfully closed it then locking it, and closing the blinds and curtains, turning to face me, regarding me closely.

"Did you see anything?" he asked slowly.

I nodded, quickly, my throat closed, unable to form words.

"Did you?" I whispered after a while.

He shook his head with a sigh; he hadn't seen anything but I could tell he believed I did, just by the level of fright that was probably on my face at that moment.

Emmett ran a hand through his hair then, pacing the room a couple of times before coming to sit on the bed by me, taking my hand.

"Bella…_what happened_? The guys down at the station had found no traces of fur or blood on the front side of your car. And yet there was a massive amount of damage, almost as if you hit a brick wall head on, now I'm just going off the report. Tell me what _you_ think."

I couldn't tell him I hit a body if there was no body to show for it, and I couldn't very well tell him, what I thought happened, or what I hoped something I made up.

I think it was safe to say that theory went out the window, from what I saw at the window. My body began to tremble as I thought about the black figure watching me, he was outside right now amongst the tree line, hiding amongst the forest, I wouldn't be safe anywhere here and yet I didn't have the guts to leave.

How was I going to function? How would I leave the house willingly if I knew _he _would be out there watching me? Which begs the question, why did he let me live? When I could possibly tell other people about him?

Which only left that he knew I wouldn't tell he knew I wouldn't for fear of people not believing me, which was the outcome no matter what I did, no one would believe, not even Emmett.

Everyone would think I'd lost it. Which I think I've already have.

"I… can't remember," I supplied weakly, my voice shaky.

He grunted then, knowing when I was lying and also when I was going to be too stubborn to give something up. His hands circled my shoulders, his warms palms comforting to the frigid temperature outside, and inside.

"I'm sure your just exhausted right now, get some sleep, I'll be downstairs if you need me, just call," he pulled me to him, grateful for the hug and kiss on the forehead.

But when he left and shut the door, there was no way I was going to turn off the lights, not after what I had seen. It was quite possible I would never sleep again. How could I? With the possibility of that figure showing up while I dreamed? Or had nightmares?

I laid stock-still for what felt like hours.

I must've dosed off because the next thing I felt was a dip in the bed.

And a hand over my mouth.

And the figure I had seen through the window.

I let out a muffled cry, but he only shushed me.

"You wouldn't want to wake up your brother now would you?" he murmured, his face cloaked in darkness like always, like I had dreamed. Tears fell down my face as he settled over me, like we did this every night.

They collected on his fingers and he just licked them away, his tongue icy, deadening. He was dead. His skin was hard and cold brushing up against my arms.

_I would never escape him._

"Hmm, your skin was covered the last time we met, so soft," he coaxed, his fingers tangling and tugging at my hair, I tried not to scream, he could most likely kill Emmett, and probably would in a heartbeat if he didn't get what he wanted.

This wasn't supposed to happen; I should be safe with Emmett.

He pulled back and I saw those same pitch black eyes, gleaming down at me, I was not so pleased.

"I see your cuts have healed nicely," he commented to himself, eyeing my forehead and cheek, and fingering the skin on my neck. I gasped as the temperature to his skin and that spot seemed the same.

"I've marked you sweetheart, you're mine," he growled, settling over me.

Anger surfaced by this statement, I glared at him showing how much I hated him, how much I loathed him for making me feel this way, for making me feel scared, and incompetent. He seemed taken aback by this.

"No need to be so cold darling, after all you _wanted_ it," he purred, I only snorted.

"No one wants that, how would you like the life-force sucked out of you?" I shot back.

His eyes grew very serious and very flat by this, a smile no longer lighting his features, if I were mistaken I may have seen sadness lace the edges of his pupils.

"I already have, there's none left in me."

I didn't miss a beat.

"So you feel the need to prey on innocent women? I bet I'm not your first huh?" I questioned back, pushing him back, surprised that he let me, his frame settling back on the foot of the bed as he regarded my question.

"Why make everyone suffer as you've suffered? Why not take strength from it? Why not suffer for others who don't have to? Don't taint what you've been through by forcing others to live by it."

He was dead silent by my words, his dark eyes glittering in the moonlight, and he almost seemed like an evil angel sitting on the edge of the mattress, his hair floppy and sticking up, almost as if he were a lost boy, asking where to go next.

"I'm already tainted, and there's no way around that," he growled, standing up.

I braced for his onslaught, positive there was going to be one, I squeezed my eyes shut.

But when I opened them, he was gone, the window was closed; the drapes were down like he had never been there, as if I had willingly brought him into my dreams once again.

I don't know how I did it, but I fell asleep for the next day.

My eyes opened, faced with the ones that have been slapped into my memory. I jumped a little, to find him lying beside me, his eyes intently staring at my neck; I lay there quietly trying not to tremble.

"Do you think I could be good?" he asked suddenly his eyes darting up to meet mine, his left hand resting under his head on the pillow next to mine.

"We all have the ability to make our own choices," I replied back.

This must've not been good enough because he replied with a sneer, pinning me down in one smooth motion too quick for me to have seen what was coming.

"My choices were taken from me."

I cried out as his teeth sunk into the same spot he had used before and I slipped into darkness as he took from me what I wasn't willing to give.

I woke up shaky and out of breath hours later.

_A dream._ I forced myself to think; the only way I was able to get my body out of bed and downstairs to an Emmett cooking pancakes.

"Morning Bella! I made…" he stopped as he turned around to see me. I must've looked horrible.

"Bella, you okay? You're as white as a sheet, come sit down," he took my hand and led me to the table, since I was apparently incapable of doing anything myself. Emmett went to grab a glass of milk and a white pill, laying it out on the place mat in front of me.

The white pill bringing out the pain that seemed to seep out of every pore in my body, my skin felt pale and clammy, my eyes were dry and felt sunkin' in. Liking a moving corpse I mechanically took the pill and a sip of milk, my sore throat making it taste putrid.

Not a minute later Emmett was plopping a hearty plate of pancakes and fried bacon in front of me, the mere thought of food made me want to puke, not including the sight of it. My nose wrinkled.

"I made it just the way you like it," he stated, somewhat downtrodden as he turned to get himself a glass of OJ, automatically making me feel horrible as I hurt his feelings.

"No, it looks great," another white lie, "I'm just not very hungry today," I sighed, my eyes wandering to the kitchen window.

Was he out there right now? Could he be watching me through the trees, waiting for Emmett to leave me alone?

I shivered in fright and something else deep within my gut as I thought this, remembering his words to me last night.

_Do you think I could be good?_

The innocent question of a lost boy, but I knew better.

I wasn't here to help him, he wasn't some lost soul in need of someone to understand him; he chose me because I was easy pickings I ran into him for God's sake, what could be easier than that?

It made me wonder how many girls before me he tormented, had he left one for me? And would he find someone else not long after the encounter I had been through? Would he just get carried away and end up killing me? Or maybe it wouldn't be any accident at all, payback for me hitting him, even if I didn't seem to do any damage at all.

"Bella? Earth to – hey, what's so interesting that you need to stare out the window for five minutes straight?"

I had no idea I had drifted off on a tangent, Emmett was already seated and digging into this breakfast making my stomach churn as he shoveled it in.

"Oh, I…um, nothing," perching my chin on my hand as I took in his profile, noticing for the first time how much older he looked.

"How are you? I mean the last time we talked I just graduated…"I trialed off, realizing how horrible of a sister I've been, just thinking about myself since I got here, this would be the first time we would even say more than a few words.

"Can't complain, gotta say I love it up here, the climate's just right and the people are always in the mood for striking up conversation, always saying hello, you'll really like it up here Bells."

I tried not to roll my eyes I had only been in the state for a couple of hours until I got my impression of this place. I hadn't unpacked anything up in my room, not sure I had the guts to. Before I could say anything else, he snatched up his plate and mine and launched them into the sink, scrubbing, rinsing and drying, already heading to the opposite side of the room, grabbing a coat.

It was then I realized he was wearing his work uniform.

_Oh no._

"I decided to take up a shift for a buddy down at the house since I didn't work last night, phone numbers are all by the phone, obviously if you call 911 I'll know about it." He eyed me from across the counter; me in my little fuzzy socks and pajamas. I nodded weakly.

At least if he was going to come into the house Emmett wouldn't be here, he couldn't use my brother as a crutch.

Emmett came across the room then, kneeling in front of me like he would with a small child.

"I'll be back by five, there's plenty in the fridge for lunch, and –"

"Emmett –"I cut him off, "I'll be fine, I can take care of myself."

"And that's what you told Charlie coming up here," he stated warily, when I said overprotected, I really meant it.

"It was nothing; I hit a – deer, no worries."

He didn't look convinced.

"You gotta give me a break little sis, you know how much you mean to us," he murmured, giving me a parting kiss on the forehead before striding down the hallway and out the front door, locking it behind him.

I nodded to the empty room, Charlie and Emmett always seeming to link me to Mom. Of course it was founded and made sense, but always when I was little I felt smothered, kids questioned whether their family loved them, well I knew all too well that they did.

I never knew her, but it was plainly obvious how much Dad and Em loved her. They never once blamed me for her death, which would both be unethical and morally wrong, but it wouldn't be the first time.

On that note, I felt my legs slowly lift me from the kitchen chair, wary of my surroundings and the coming day. I decided to take a shower to soothe things out a bit.

But when I saw him in my room I wasn't sure if the shower had made me feel better or only set me up for this shock and surprise.

I don't know why I felt so, after all he had probably watched me while I slept, my heart jumping to my throat at the thought.

He stayed in the shadows, my room dark due to the drawn curtains and lack of sunlight to begin with. But I knew he was there, I saw the rise and fall of his chest, his dark jeans, dark sweater, and pale fingers that I knew were ice cold. Good thing I had taken it upon myself to dress warmly in the bathroom.

"That's odd, he never does work during the day," his voice floating throughout the room, settling on my shoulders making my whole body tremble.

"Things change," I quivered, regarding his words from last night.

"Oh yes, and people too? What an insinuation."

He was mocking and menacing, lifting up his right hand slowly to inspect his nails for show, I wasn't buying his little tryst. My hands clenched, feeling this was all my fault, I had brought this creature into Emmett's life, would he begin to torment him too, possibly after he killed me? Would he go to Charlie next?

"If you're going to kill me do it now and do it quick, don't bring anyone else into this."

I saw the spark in his black pupils, his hips pushing himself off of the side wall he was leaning on; surprising my voice had not wavered. It felt weird finding out I didn't fear death as much as I imagined you were supposed to.

"Why in a rush? You're so young," he trailed off, stepping closer to me, I couldn't understand why we were even talking, we both knew he was here for one thing, I wish he'd just take it and go, leave me alone.

"No younger than you," I shot back without thinking.

He was in front of me in a flash, his fingers enclosing my throat.

"I'm a lot older than I look sweetheart," he growled, clearly ruffled and insulted, I felt the ends of my lips starting to lift up, even he could get a bruised ego. His other hand came up to pinch the flesh on the side of my neck, where he had bitten me before, the temperature still the same.

I winced as he pinched harder, making the blood pool under his fingers, the skin turning an angry red.

"Hm… it's even coming up to greet me," he pinched again and I cried out as he eventually broke the skin an agonizing way. I sobbed again as his teeth sunk in, the horrible realization that he would most likely torment me all day until Emmett came home.

If this kept happening, I would wind up dead.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here you go guys, hope you like. **

* * *

"Why does he call you Bells? What's your real name?"

I ignored his inquiry, both out of spite and exhaustion; I lay haphazardly over my bed as he lounged next to my barely conscious form. He constantly tugged at a loose thread on my sweater, slowly driving me insane as he took the liberty to fiddle around with everything in his sight.

Of course there was nothing I could do.

My brain was lethargic and I literally had no strength to move.

It has been a week since I moved in with Emmett; my suitcases still lay in a pile on the wood floor in the foot of the bed, still packed. I still couldn't find it in me to leave, one of the main reasons: lack of an explanation. I couldn't just get up and leave and I couldn't come up with a sound excuse that wouldn't hurt Emmett's feelings and make me look like a quieter in Charlie's eyes.

He almost killed me today, obviously getting too 'carried away' in his words.

Right now I laid across that mattress feeling crippled and sloppy my hair a mess, my sweater torn. How had it come to this? You never heard about this on the news. They never hand seminars on this happening to the young vulnerable single woman.

There was sexual harassment, rape, domestic violence, and harassment.

But never self-defense in the situation you were ever to find yourself being held captive by a vampire as he drained the life-force from you every night.

When he had been on top of me earlier, the pull I had sickenly gotten used to, or at least able to tolerate, it suddenly began to drift away as I blacked out. I really thought I was dead, until I came to an hour later by those same pitch black, starless eyes.

The same flesh of skin he always fed from was now starting to fester, even with the venom he seemed to secrete couldn't heal it anymore due to the fact that it was constantly being opened.

I have to wear turtle necks now, the other day I had to go down to the local store and pick up more, always, always feeling his eyes on me, I could practically feel his silent laughter while I was in the checkout.

The bite marks were eroded from the skin, sickenly purple, light blue veins fanning out from the mark, every time he was in the room it seemed to pulse and throb. Sooner or later turtle necks wouldn't even be able to cover up the marks, traveling up my throat and down my collarbone.

And it had only been _week_.

Emmett started to notice how pale and dead, I looked; I just blamed it on the constant overcast skies.

I felt my eyes drift closed and open again, my gaze never leaving the ceiling, begging him to jump back out that window, at least leave me with a few hours of peace before he inevitably climbed back up.

Tears welled up in my eye's sticking to my lashes as he grabbed my wrist, his ice cold tongue running up veins marking my wrist, you could hardly see any veins anymore. He pressed his nose against the dampened skin, inhaling.

"I wish I hadn't gone too far, I planned to feed at least once more before I left," he sighed to himself in disappointment.

I whipped my arm from his grasp, the only reason I succeeded because he let me.

The worst, most humiliating part, I could feel it in the days that seemed to drag, my blood felt like it were screaming, I faced physical pain if he didn't drink from me. I felt like I would lose my mind. And then when he did it felt like I would die if he took any more from me.

A never-ending nightmare.

I tried to turn to my side, away from him, but he wouldn't allow that, his hand rested on my shoulder as he pulled me to him, my body too weak to resist or even cry out.

His lips were on me then, sucking and nibbling like he did at my neck, his tongue licking its way into my mouth. He had done this before, I didn't bother resisting, he would tire soon and then leave me be.

But he kissed me again, and again, frustration leaking from his lips as I lay there, unmoving.

I smiled; satisfied I could bring something unpleasant to him.

He wrapped his arms around me then, one hand resting on my lower back while the other threaded in my hair. Tears fell down my cheeks as his movements were tender, the worst kind of torture, his emotions were so fleeting, so erratic I didn't know what to expect.

A sob escaped as his lips trailed alongside my neck, reaching the scar that now burned under his kisses. I squirmed under him, my hands uselessly pushing at his chest, as he reined kisses around the irritated flesh; he then rested a forefinger and pressed down, causing me to scream.

That was enough to wake Emmett up.

But by the time he was able to make it to my room, he was long gone.

He practically burst through the door, switching on the lights, the brightness causing my eyes to sting insistently. Emmett strode over to my bed and I could only lay there, I was so exhausted, I just wanted to sleep. More tears fell down my face at the desperation I felt in that moment.

"Bella! What happened? Are you –"

He stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes the size of saucers and that's when I recognized the pulsing on my neck, I forgot to cover it up.

"What the fuck is that?"

I cried out as he walked over and touched it, immediately pulling his fingers away. His face was painfully serious, just about as pale as mine, eyes grim as he stated,

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"Emmett, it's nothing –"

"Don't even begin to tell me that, that _thing_ is nothing."

I sank back further in the cab of Emmett's truck, what was I going to do? What was I going to tell them? It just popped up? I can't remember?

He had covered it with gauze and had to practically drag me out the house to get me here.

"Emmett? What are you doing here?"

"Edward! Could you check Bella out for me?"

I turned, only to see my nightmare in the physical form right in front of me in daylight, in front of everyone else, in the middle of a hospital.

I automatically shrunk back in prominent fear, practically burying myself in Emmett's side as he neared.

He wasn't so pale and his eyes were different, his hair was lighter. But it was him, I _knew_ it was him.

And he was a _Doctor_.

I began to hyperventilate and Emmett pulled me tighter.

"Woah, Bella, what's going on? You know Doctor Masen; he treated you when you had the accident."

My eyes widened, even then he had been following me? Watching me everywhere I went? And he knew Emmett?

I shook my head, taking Emmett's arm in a vice grip, there was no way I was going to let him touch me, not anymore then he made me, not in front of brother.

He couldn't make me.

But the look_ he_ gave me, told me, even what I knew.

_No one else will believe you, except me. I already know the truth, there's no reason to have to explain it to anyone now._

His gaze taunted me, he knew and I knew, and he smiled at this, beating me once again, always a step ahead.

I had no choice; this was the easy way out, to avoid insanity, which I was thinking Emmett probably thought I was already insane to begin with.

I turned my face into Emmett's neck; he instinctively laid a kiss on my head as I breathed in his pine tree smell.

"Come on, we'll figure out what this is, and we can go home, it'll be alright."

_Easy for you to say._

I nodded, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath trying to muster up some courage and put a blank face on.

We walked in the exam room together, as he trailed behind us, I could hear every step he took with his shoes, I could hear the rustle of his clothes, the tapping of his fingers on the metal clipboard he was carrying.

I could hear _everything_.

My ears perked as he shut the door behind us, his presence making my skin tingle, the scar on my neck burned and seemed to spasm under the skin, it felt like it was being ripped open and I tried everything to keep the wince off my face, to keep the scream lodged in my throat.

He instructed Emmett to take a seat in the corner of the room and for me to sit on the edge of the hospital bed.

Since his back was turned to Emmett, he was able to give me a very smug, very triumphed smile; I glared back, hoping Emmett didn't see it.

"Here, you will go the bathroom just there, and change into this, come back out here so I can examine you," the spark back in his hazel eyes as he said the last bit, used to ordering me around.

I huffed, taking the hospital gown.

When I walked back in, feeling very exposed in the cheap gown, I was met with him and Emmett chatting up a storm like long lost buds.

His eyes immediately fell on me as the door creaked open; the intensity of his eyes making me hesitate at the archway.

It was too surreal, seeing him here, lab coat, tie, slacks and stethoscope, completely in hospital garb, talking to Emmett like he did this every day. The florescent lights only made him look a ghostly pale, more like the walking dead as he told me to have a seat.

He stepped in front of me then, and without my say, lifted his hand to slide down the top of the gown, the ties loosening as fabric pulled just above the swell of my breasts. His tongue slipped out then wetting his lips as he met my eyes, purposely harassing me.

His eyes then trailed up to my neck, dilating considerably back to the color I was used to seeing, if anyone could adapt to such a bottomless black.

My normal body function seemed to fail me then as my breathing stopped, and my eyes fluttered as his fingers smoothed and prodded at the flesh that was now an angry red, the slightly blue veins still tapering out, spreading farther since I've seen them last, now reaching my left shoulder.

His ice cold skin soothed the burn, the pulsing lowering to a constant beat as blood seemed to pool at the surface, in reaction to his touch.

I hated to admit it, but the pain felt considerably better, my body didn't feel like it was screaming at me anymore, the blood seemed to slow in my veins now, my heartbeat resting considerably.

His eyes met mine, and he seemed to know all this as he smiled.

My breath caught for a second time. His smile wasn't smug or menacing, it was different. It was a genuine smile, warm, and maybe a little possessive, the shine in his eyes, the hazel now glittering.

This frightened me most all, for I wasn't used to it, and I didn't know what this meant.

"Seems to be coming along quite well," he murmured, so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

"Well? Edward, what the hell is it?"

We both snapped out of the reverie that had fallen around us.

He cleared his throat, "Nothing too serious, must've been a little cut left over from the accident, it looks this angry because our Bella here has a minor infection."

I didn't like the way he said that, _our _Bella, more because he knew and I knew he wanted to say _my _Bella.

"That's an infection? Edward, I have seen many things as an EMT but I have never seen an infection like that. Anything but that is _minor_." Emmett's voice sounding disgusted, I immediately felt ashamed, even though it wasn't my fault, I could practically feel his revulsion filling the room.

_Please Emmett; don't argue. _

This only caused him to stiffen, hearing the disgust in Emmett's voice, his left fist clenching at his side.

He turned to Emmett coolly, his powerful gaze thankfully leaving mine for a minute.

"How long was it until your buddy's found Bella? Hm? The infection could've even started when she went through the crash; it has only been festering since then."

It was obvious that he was only insulting Emmett's division. Emmett glared at this, his angry gaze falling to my neck, and then back at him.

"My guys would've caught that."

"They didn't."

He then preceded to bullshit something about anti-biotic's and thoroughly cleaning an open wound to me for Emmett's benefit alone.

"Is that why you've been so tired lately Bells?" Emmett asked softly.

I felt tears well up in my eyes as I took in his concerned gaze, and then back to_ him_, smug, knowing I wouldn't tell anything. I hated lying to my brother I knew he loved me and was trying to protect me, but I had to protect him, I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't.

"Yeah," was my reply.

He smiled, showing the teeth that have done so much damage already.

"Okay, we are all set here, Bella, take two of these a day, and you should feel much better."

_Yeah right asshole. _

He chuckled then, as if he heard me.

"Isabella…Bella."

I jumped and dropped my glass of water on the kitchen tile.

It was dark and snowing outside, Emmett had left ten minutes ago, leaving me alone to fend for myself.

I kneeled down to pick up the broken glass, cutting my palm in the process.

"Shit."

I stood up, thinking this would happen to me, and I would be a klutz in a time like this, I went over to the faucet to turn on the tap to get rid of the glass and blood when a cold hand shot out to grab my wrist and stop my hand hitting the water.

I gasped automatically trying to pull back, even though I knew there was no point.

He turned me around to face him, and he looked paler somehow, his eyes darker, even under his eyes.

"Com'ere," he whispered, and because I was so shocked to see him appear physically tired, I let him direct me over to one of the kitchen chairs. I felt my legs give out as I sat down, as he kneeled in front of me.

My lips parted and my mouth opened as he lifted my bleeding palm up to his lips, instead of biting he just let his mouth mold to the cut, taking a few pulls while sealing the cut with one lick. My fingers trembled, as he held them within his grasp, hauntingly quiet in this small space.

"Why didn't you just do that to my neck, then Emmett wouldn't have known?" I heard myself ask.

It had been a week since Emmett made me to go the hospital, and it was the first time where he hadn't come in two nights, I didn't get any sleep either of those nights.

You'd think I would've been grateful, but I rather he'd come into my room at night then not at all. Those nights I couldn't lay still, my skin felt like it had been burning from the inside, my blood screaming and piercing through my veins, the scar on my neck blistering and scorching my skin, spreading further out, it now reached to either side of my shoulders, and up my neck.

I didn't look in the mirror anymore; I couldn't stand looking at it, let alone touch it. Every time I did, it felt like I personally was taking a knife towards the skin, it didn't receive any relief like it did when his fingers smoothed over the aggravated skin.

My heart felt like it would tear through my ribcage it would sometimes beat so hard.

I knew I was going mad, slowly becoming insane the closer I got to this monster.

He ran fingers through his hair, messing it up and turning every which way, the first human habit I'd seen from him. His hand squeezed my right one, no longer bleeding, his eyes meeting mine.

My left hand shot to my throat at what I saw, the amount of visible pain I saw that could fill up his eyes crippled me, a stab of agony through my gut at the suffering he seemed to enduring.

The bond that seemed to be growing between us was so powerful I knew if he died I wouldn't be able to survive it. Physically we were bound way beyond my control.

"You have no idea," he breathed, and I started.

"What did you say?" I didn't have the strength to speak any louder, but he heard me.

"Bella, there's –" he cut off wincing, as another wave ran up and down my neck, the skin searing hot, tearing through my heart, I couldn't stop the cry that burst from my throat. His hands left mind, cupping his own temples; seeming to ride out my pain as it ran up and down my spine.

How did I go on from day to day with this agony? Or was it getting worse?

His breathing matched mine, his left hand trailing up my neck, the pads of his fingers running softly over the ridges of the scar, immediately soothing the burn, I couldn't hold in the soft sigh as the pain subsided dramatically.

I met his gaze and I tried to think when things had changed.

He kept running his fingers over the angry marks looking as if collecting his bearings.

"You're right when you think I've done this before, taken on other – 'hosts' but you – you're case is different," he breathed in deeply.

My eyelids drooped as his constant contact took away all the pain only to reveal a slow simmering tingle that began at the base of my spine, moving up to spread warmth in my torso, my heart embracing this feeling that I hadn't felt in a long time.

He was distracted by this, his eyes smoldering and burning through my own.

My cheeks flared and I tried to turn away, only to be thwarted by his hands pulling me back.

"That…scar on your neck, isn't there just because I was too careless to seal a wound," he smoothed a thumb over the raised skin, feeling the ridges and bumps; this causing another tingly wave to pool in my gut, the intensity causing him to bite on his lip.

"It's my mark, you're mine, it's forever…_making_ you mine –"he cut off on a breath, seeming lost on what to say. At this point I was confused solely on the fact that his touches wouldn't let me concentrate on anything else.

"I just…I heard how intense and powerful and serious this was, I just never _knew_, never…thought that it would be like – _this_," he struggled, running his other hand through his hair, once, twice, three times.

"I mean…I, I hear your thoughts – I…feel…what you are feeling, every agony every pain is also mine. I'm losing my mind! And it's all because of this!"

With that he slammed his fist into the kitchen table, shattering under the force, cracking it into splinters around us.

Feeling the usual fear, I stepped back to the corner of the room, wanting to be as far away from his as possible.

This only seemed to pain him more; he cried out in frustration, raking his fingers through his hair.

"See! That is exactly why, just stop it! I could not, will not hurt you, it would be like killing myself, do you understand?"

He strode over to me then, cupping my face in is hands, this action so, so tender.

"Everything has changed, that mark, this bite, is turning you into someone like me, changing you, so you will forever be with me," he ended, his thumbs smoothing over the apples of my cheeks.

It took my two seconds until I shoved him away in horror.

"What?" I gasped, pulling at my hair, pacing the kitchen until fleeing.

What?

What was I to do? My life was ending; he had damned me to live as he does; to kill countless innocents. What would I tell Emmett? Charlie?

Tears welled in my eyes until I was sobbing. Everything was piecing together, why this scar was more than a scar, why I felt like I was being torn out of my skin for the past 3 weeks. Why I was feeling so edgy and insane.

He had done this to me, when I had first hit him, he did this.

I went upstairs and closed my door, having nothing else to do but sit on my bed and cry. At least until _he _came in.

"Please go away, just leave me alone," I sobbed, pleading for him to leave. I had stopped begging two weeks ago, everything was coming back full force.

"I can't, it's too late now, if I leave now, you'll die," he stated, standing over my bed, always there always watching me. I would never be able to escape him, especially not now.

"Look what you have done! I have a Father and a Brother who need me; I can't just leave them, not after what happened…" I trialed off in a sob, it was already my fault Mom died, I couldn't leave them.

Mine and Emmett's Mom died while she was having me, a 'placental abruption' is what they call it, they were able to save me, but Renee bled out. When I was little I always thought it was my fault, always thinking deep down that's what Charlie thought too. But never, never had Emmett or Dad said such a thing, in fact that's why they treated me so delicately. They were protecting the last part of Mom they had left.

I think Charlie loved me a little bit more because he always told me I would grow up a little everyday only looking more like her.

And this is how I would repay them; by turning into a monster.

"How can I ever be around you, if I'm scared to even be near you? If, all I can think about is when you'll kill me or end up getting 'carried away'? How could I ever want to spend the rest of my life with some who is selfish and only thinks of themselves?"

His anger flared then, "Yes, I am selfish, and greedy, and arrogant, but why would I choose someone who was exactly the same? I would pick someone who's the complete opposite who can give me the chance at redemption; someone who is selfless, innocent, trusting and kind?"

He had moved closer to the bed then, coming to cup my wrists in both of his hands, smoothing his thumbs over both pulse points.

"How could I ever be happy with you?" I glared, tearing my hands away, "I want you to leave," I stated, knowing that perhaps now, he'll listen.

He shook his head, "You know I can't do that, if I'm not with you –"

"GO!" I screamed, he hesitated, making up my mind I went to the bathroom, and came back with scissors, three weeks ago there would have been no way I would've been contemplating such a thing, but now I'd do it in a heartbeat. I held up the sharp blade to my neck; eyes blazing.

I had definitely gone mad.

And I had never seen him so panic-stricken, as afraid as he looked in that moment.

"Bella, don't," he whispered, pained.

"If it means you will leave me and my family alone then, yes, I will." I challenged.

He was torn, and I gave a triumphed smile as he moved towards the window sill. But before he left, the scissors were out of my hand and were bent into a ball. Tears ran down my face as he chucked it to the side with a clunk. I could tell he was done playing games then.

"I'm not leaving you, if I'm not with you while you're changing then you will die, and I will die." He stated darkly.

"I don't know why I'm still standing here then," I replied.

"You need me, as much as I want you," his statement made me falter, my throat getting stuck in my throat.

"No I don't," I said a little too slow.

His smile was genuine, but still smug, his hands coming up to cup my face. My eyes fluttered my gut quivering as my skin tingled insistently against his touch. That was the scar though, not me.

"You mean you want my blood," I countered stubbornly, he was being ridiculous we would never evolve out of the personas we already had, he was the predator, I was the prey, we would never be equal. There would never be anything else that he would want more.

He shook his head swallowing, "I did, but not anymore, if I do feed from you, it's only to keep myself strong so you can change, you're taking energy from me as well as that scar."

This left me shocked; I was the one making him look so tired?

Silent tears kept streaming down my cheeks as I thought over the past few weeks.

"I haven't eaten anything in the past few days," I realized, alarmed and wide eyed. He shook his head at this.

"See, that's not good, you need to keep up your strength," his voice disappointed, I bowed my head like I actually felt guilty for not pleasing him.

This was all so insane.

I sighed, a lot to take in all at once, the only thing I was sure of, was that I could think for the first time in the past three days. My skin didn't feel like it would tear if I made any sudden movement, my heart didn't feel like it was having a panic attack, unable to stay in my chest. I felt calm and that's what I was going to take in at the moment.

He rested his forehead against mine and I had never felt so thankful for the contact, he had literally caused me to lose my mind. Two weeks in visiting Emmett I was finding myself to be part of the supernatural, not as romantic as it sounds.

I hissed as an aftershock ripped through my spine anyways, the sound completely unlike me. He winced also.

"Here," he whispered, brushing my hair onto the other shoulder as he rested his lips against the scar, feathering kisses across the burning white hot angry skin. I let out a strangled breath as he continued across my collarbone and to the other side, reaching the top swell of my breasts.

"Is this…how you were – turned?" I asked, timid with embarrassment. This was probably the first civilized conversation we've had.

He shook his head, silent.

"This is what a…vampire does to get a -mate," he breathed, avoiding my gaze.

"What if they're already a vampire?" feeling ridiculous for saying such a word in serious conversation.

"The process is much more painful, it's to, I – it's a way, the ability to form an unbreakable bond, a bond much stronger than any simple coupling or intimacy." He replied.

I was seeing him in a new light, and I wasn't sure if I liked that.

It was easier when I just hated him and assumed he hated everything and everyone.

I winced again as my neck picked up on its intensity, his eyes turning back to mine in worry.

_Worry?_

No, no too far, let's take a step back maybe concern, but never worry for me.

"Come, you need your rest, I won't be feeding from you tonight."

He caught the sigh of relief from me, but instead of anger he just countered with a soft smile, which left me dazed as I stumbled into bed. I was a little nervous at first but when I made sure he was just going to stay in a nearby chair, I was able to let my eyes drift closed.

"Bells? Bella?"

I was startled awake by a warm hand on my shoulder.

"You okay? It's two o'clock in the afternoon, I just woke up," he took in the pale skin and blotchy eyes I knew I had.

"Jesus Bella you look horrible, think you're coming down with something?" He asked himself, scratching the back of his neck. Unsure with what to do with me, I mumbled something still feeling so tired. That's when Emmett thought it would be the best time to talk to me.

He started with a sigh, "Look Bella, I talked to Dad yesterday, I think you should go back home, you haven't unpacked, you haven't looked into the library job you were interested in, you haven't done _anything_ since you've arrived, three weeks is plenty of time to get settled in. And well, you look like a walking corpse, is there something you need tell me?"

I couldn't help my bottom lip from quivering, just like a parent, he could always tell when something was up; he just didn't have a clue as to what. And I couldn't tell him. I shook my head, burrowing my cheek further into the pillow. I had been a walking corpse.

He hadn't come in the past week; all I've been doing is sleeping, the pain opening a new window to fatigue. I was starting to get worried.

_Worried._

Now I know I've really lost it.

I made sure to keep the covers tucked to my chin, the blue veined streaks had started to creep under my jaw and behind my ears; they slithered down my arms and were now encircling my fingers. I felt like I was slowly loosing myself.

That was one of the main reasons why I stayed in bed; Em would find it weird if I walked around complete in turtled-necked sweater and gloves.

Emmett ran a hand through my hair sighing, "Well?"

I shook my head; I couldn't leave, not with this whole mess I literally ran into. I couldn't go anywhere; in fact I would have to leave soon, with _him_. Emmett will eventually catch on that I'm different and not the same, even if these blue streaks disappear.

Maybe I will have to go house hunting soon, just a good cover for not being around Emmett as much.

"I'll contact a realtor today, look for a house."

His face dropped, "No, I'm not gonna kick you out, I just want you to do something, get out, meet some people, I at least want you to get a job at the library for a little while, when you're steady on your feet, we can go look for houses if you want to."

"I can take care of myself Emmett." Something I've said way too many times.

"I know you can Bells; you know you'll always be my little Baby Belle though." I groaned as he ruffled my hair and finally stood up to leave.

I let out a puff of air and collapsed back onto the pillow, hearing a thud, and another.

Then another, this time by my window, my head shot to the direction of the sound and I gasped as I saw him climbing in from the snowy wasteland.

But something was off, and very wrong.

I got myself out of bed as he stumbled inside, shutting the window behind him.

"What are you doing here? Emmett is still home," I whispered, walking to the door to close and lock it.

I looked back and fell silent, fear gripping my throat, this time for a different reason. His face was deathly white, more than usual, his skin was so pale it was borderline purple, his hair looked greasy and unhealthy, his eyes completely black and bottomless like I had been used to seeing.

His breathing was ragged, and his hands were trembling.

"Bella," he struggled, swallowing, his throat convulsing by the quick motion.

"Here, come here," I urged, grabbing his hands, trying not to pull back in fright, they were cold you'd think you would snap them in half if handled too roughly, it hurt my hands to hold onto his.

He leaned heavily onto me, as I directed him towards the bed as he collapsed on top of it. His eyes were unseeing, moving across the room, until they finally came to rest on my uncovered neck, his eyes becoming impossibly dark.

"I can't," his voice almost coming out in a whine, he swallowed, again and again, like he had the first time we met when he was thirsty. And that's when it clicked.

He was thirsty; he hadn't come over so that meant he didn't feed this entire time. That's why we felt horrible. I wanted to scold him for being so careless, he could've killed us both! His earlier warning coming from his own lips, his just ignored the whole thing.

He needed to feed from me since I was using his energy and he needed to be around me so I could change properly.

"Idiot," I muttered, shaking my head at him.

"Here, Edward…" his name felt odd coming from my lips, the first time I ever said, if it was his real name, I was going to be his 'mate' and I didn't even know what his name was! I was about to save both our asses and I didn't know.

His name seemed to catch his attention so I murmured it again, crawling on the bed to him, lying on my side.

"Edward, here, drink," I urged, something so completely bizarre and horrid, something I would've competently protested against two weeks ago, not now.

Obviously ignoring me, I grabbed the back of his neck, bringing his lips up to the angry scar, shivering as I was immediately met with relief as his lips pressed against the throbbing tissue.

"Edward," I breathed once more, and that's all it took until his teeth sunk into flesh, my back arching against him as he took pull after pull. Due to the site of his feeding, everything seemed to meet me with relieve, little tingles filling up my body.

I could feel the blue veiny streaks spreading through my skin in burning paths as he continued to feed, but I didn't pay any attention to that. I took note that our legs tangled with each other's. I took notice that I continuously kept raking my fingers through his hair. And I absorbed his groans and purrs as he continued to feed.

Yeah, I had definitely lost myself.

I was officially a crazy person.

I couldn't decide whether I liked it; or if I even had a choice in the first place.

It was still very dark when I woke up with his arms wrapped tightly around me.

I was startled, his body practically encompassing mine.

I was speechless; he never stayed when I woke up, and it left me unsettled, completely uncomfortable. He noticed I was awake laying a couple butterfly soft kisses across my temple. It felt odd and weird, different.

I tried to ignore the fleeting advances, the way my tummy flip flopped, our legs still tangled together at the end of the bed. I had never been so physically close to him when he wasn't feeding; I wasn't sure what to think of it.

But then I remembered the previous night.

I slapped his chest, and pulled back, alarmed, it wouldn't have hurt him, but I've never hit him before.

He was met with a glare.

"Are you an idiot?" I huffed, frustrated and angry.

"You suck my blood for the past three weeks, and now,_ now_ you suddenly grow a conscience and care about what I want when I need this, when we _both_ need this to stay alive?"

He just had a disbelieving look on his face at my tirade.

_Yeah, that's right, I'm not afraid of you anymore._

I slapped again, thinking how idiotic and stupid he had been.

"Are you daft? You're lucky I actually care about what happens to me, you would've been SOL otherwise," I huff, crossing my arms like a child.

His shock started to wear off, his eyebrows that had rose to his hairline now dropped, hooding over his blackened gaze.

"You might want to tread lightly Isabella, I could suck you dry right now, and go find myself a mate who would be less…difficult." He threatened.

I shook my head, knowing better, if he felt what I felt and if I felt what he felt, and if he could read my mind and if he had refrained from feeding from me for a week, then this was much more serious then he would want me to believe.

He couldn't control me by fear anymore.

"You think so little of me, if you had the choice of killing me by now, I believe you would've done it already." Feeling the truth of my words as they left my lips.

His mask seemed to wear off, he may be unable to stand me, but he couldn't hide what he really thought, truly shocking me.

His fingers gripped my elbows, gently prying them apart as he lifted them to his shoulders, my fingers lightly resting on his sweater clad shoulder blades.

"You don't give me much credit little one, indeed, if I had ever had the desire to kill you I would have, the problem that you don't see is that I never wanted to."

He said it so simply I couldn't hold the gape that formed around my lips.

I shook my head in disbelief, "The – the cabin, all those nights, you didn't _care_ about anything but yourself," my voice thick showing my weakness and how desperate I had felt during those times he had tormented me.

"I don't believe you," I croaked, tears welling up.

His eyes sparked, scooting closer to me on the bed.

"I've never given you reason to." Was his reply before his lips fleshed over mine, a blade of something I didn't want to admit stabbed through my gut as his tongue brushed against my bottom lip. His hands were painfully tender as they cradled my head, his nose brushing against mine as he swiveled his head to the side, his tongue licking its way into my mouth after a while.

The cold made my body shiver and my hands tremble as they tried to hang onto the thick thread of his sweater. His marble lips sucked at mine, again and again and I was slowly losing my mind. He had scooted even closer, hovering over my side as he supported his weight on his right forearm; his left hand trailed down my stomach, never ceasing his kisses as he did so.

I hissed as his ice cold skin came into contact with my belly button, trailing up to trace the ridges of my ribcage with the pads of his fingers. As he smoothed his fingers over the bottom ridge of my left breast it made me realize he had never touched me like this when I was under his mercy.

So lost, desperate and afraid, he had never laid a hand on me.

As I thought this, he immediately pulled away, lifting his head to catch my gaze.

"I'm not that kind of monster," he whispered, licking any and all traces of me from his lips.

I lay there breathing heavily and dazed as he laid one more peck on my swollen lips before he left out the window.

I hated the feelings of rejection and disappointment as I realized he left because of me.

"Well Ms. Swan, I'm glad you were available for this interview and I will be happy to get back to you by weeks end; have a good afternoon."

If thought it was weird I was wearing mittens inside, he didn't show it when I shook his hand to leave.

Even if he did get back to me, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to work here in due time, but Emmett didn't have to know that, this ploy would also be another good excuse to stay away from him and his house.

Whenever…it – happened.

It was getting worse, or I was getting closer, whichever way you looked at it.

It hurt to go out in direct sunlight now, the other day I had gotten a migraine that rivaled any other I have ever had, the pain was crippling. I was amazed that I was able to stumble back inside. It was one of the only days it was sunny around here, and anyone would agree that I could use some Vitamin D.

Looks like that won't be an option for me anymore.

I literally wanted to start screaming, my brain had started grinding against my skull and I felt like I would crawl out of my skin, every cell feeling like it was drying up.

Did they have industrial lotion for vampires?

I had felt sick as I made jokes about this.

As I left the library, I was wearing a coat, turtle neck, beanie, mitts, pants, boots and sunglasses. I felt like a zombie freak walking around in daylight; one of those stalker types.

I walked over to Emmett's truck that I was able to drive, since he was at home pissed out, the usual pang hitting my torso as I thought of the limited time I probably had left with him. Without thinking my body took me to the hospital parking lot and I found myself setting the truck in park in a visitor's space. Ever since Edward realized I wouldn't run or tell anyone about him, he stopped following me.

I was now in as deep as he was, if he went down, I went down. People would find out about how I looked the unmistakable mark on my neck that now resembled a bite as he had been feeding from it regularly. They would know I was with him, and I would perish along with him.

Some tainted delusion of Romeo and Juliet. Though I'm pretty sure Romeo didn't suck the life-force from Juliet on the nights of every business day.

As I sat in Emmett's cab I didn't need to find Edward, because he found me first.

I jumped and yelped as he flashed to the driver door, opening it and bringing me to stand in front of him. I was speechless and out of breath as he enveloped me in one of his first embraces. But at that moment I would've taken comfort from anyone; at least that's what I kept telling myself.

He didn't feel so cold to me anymore.

His breath was slow and steady in my ear, and I found my eyes closing as he brought our bodies closer, my forehead pressing against his chest.

He was so much_ taller_ than me.

"You shouldn't be out here," he breathed, worry lacing every word; I only nodded in a daze, the protest dying on my lips as he took me inside with his golden hazel eyes.

Edward sat me down on a chair in the office I didn't know he had, living amongst the humans, no one the wiser. It was almost a sick joke that he was a Doctor here; helping lives while he gallivanted off at night, taking others.

He kneeled in front of me, going ahead and slipping off my beanie, mitts, jacket, and sunglasses. I had gone way beyond arguing at this point. I was pretty much at his mercy from now on, since I had no clue what was happening to me, and I would die otherwise - the pain lately made me believe that fact.

A month ago I would've welcomed it, but this controlling bond forced me to care about his welfare too.

That's what I kept telling myself.

The room was silent as he proceeded to examine my hands, as if I really were here for a check-up. He smoothed the pads of his fingers over the darkening veins that seemed to be puffing out of the skin now, grotesque in appearance. My skin was so pale they seemed to be glowing under the membrane.

Like always I didn't object as he continued up my throat, slipping his fingers at the end of the turtle neck to slip the fabric down and uncover the main site of all the other mapped veins. I couldn't say anything because like always, his touch was liberating, killing the pain in its wake as he smoothed his fingers over the raised scar tissue.

"A couple more weeks I can feel it," he breathed, swallowing as his eyes dilated at the sight. Another frightening fact I had grown used to.

"I won't be able to hide it much longer, Emmett already suspects something." My voice thick with worry for my older brother, I couldn't bring him into this; I couldn't push down the panicked feeling that Edward _would_ kill him if he got in the way.

I knew he would.

He nodded, expecting this, prepared for it.

"I found a suitable cover house, I already bought it for you, and I can have you moved in within the next couple of days."

My heart lurched painfully in my stomach, this was real, this was really happening, it was no dream, no nightmare, and no figment of my imagination. I would never be able to see Emmett again, or Charlie.

"No, I'm afraid not," reading my thoughts.

Tears pooled under my eyes, not yet spilling.

"Why don't you just stage my death then?" My voice biting, he automatically started to give me a warning look but I ignored it. "At least they'll have their time to mourn, hell, Charlie's already lost his wife, and Emmett his mother, what's a daughter or sister anyhow? Why do you care? You just want what's best for you, you need a mate so you go out and force someone against their will to be one, no big deal." I quip, standing up and pacing the room.

"Isabella," he growled, I didn't listen.

Here he came, here was the_ Edward_ that I knew, the one I ran into and took me to a cabin, only to drink my blood and completely take away my life from me. I tore my hands through my hair, slouching to the floor losing the rest of my mind.

Edward's pager went off and I would finally get my wish at being left alone.

He groaned and kneeled in front of me once again, grabbing my wrists. He went ahead and scooped me up in his arms, rushing to a nearby window and sliding it open; once we were outside he flashed to the parking lot, and had me in Emmett's truck in a heartbeat.

"You drive straight home, I'll know if you don't," was all he said until he left again.

Distracted I obeyed; after all, where else would I go?

The next week I was finally thankful Emmett had left early, because screaming into my pillow wasn't good enough.

Nothing helped.

A few floorboards were broken and my newly cleaned sheets were ripped it hurt so bad.

I was crying out in pain and withering on the bed when Edward finally made it through the window.

Endless torrents of salt water were streaming down my face. I was sweaty, sticky and my head was about to explode by my effort to stay silent.

"Edward – Edward," I croaked, screaming his name last, I was so relieved he was here, he was the only one who could help, the only one that knew.

His hair and eyes were wild as he strode to my side immediately getting into bed with me, tightening his arms in a vice.

"Shh, shh…"he shushed in my ear, trembling next to me as my agony must've been rubbing off onto him.

I felt some sick satisfaction by the fact.

"Don't tell me to shut up asshole, I hope you hurt just as bad I do, nothings helping!" I yelled, grinding my teeth together as torrent after torrent burst from the fuckin' scar he made on my neck. It was throbbing and pulsing; almost a second heart as it threatened to burst from my skin.

"Make it right! Make it go away, help me, this is your fault!" I blubbered, gripping the mattress between my fingers, bracing for another wave.

Even he couldn't make it go away now.

He was clueless as I; he'd never done this before, the bastard.

Edward growled and pushed me on my back, pressing his lips to the scar, placing kisses all over the molten skin. I shivered and groaned, the pain subsiding, but never truly leaving.

"It's not working," I whined.

He ripped open my sweater, gasping himself as he took in how his bite had festered out of control, a growth practically spreading throughout my body. The veins were now a dark angry purple closer to his bite mark. The bluish streaks now spread up my neck, covering my arms and curling around my fingers, it had even surpassed my breasts and circling around the swells, reaching my belly button and trailing down my spine.

I turned my cheek into the pillow, sobbing as wave after wave came, thinking how monstrous I must look, even in this creature's eye. I felt just as hellish.

"Bella," he swallowed, pained.

I twisted underneath him, looking up at him through watery eyes, to see him lowering his head to me. For a second he leaned his forehead against mine before springing into action. With one arm, he propped me up against the board of the bed against the wall.

I watched through a pained haze as he tore off his sweater, chucking it across the room before grabbing my hips, rolling us over so I laid on top him. His breathing was hard as he cradled my head, something obviously running through his mind. I got the idea when he slowly lowered my face into his neck.

"Drink Bella," was all he said.

Of course I recoiled in disgust.

"I can't!" I cried out, hating the very thought.

"Isabella, Bella _look_ at me Bella," he forced me to face him, my eyes landing on his deadly serious, determined ones.

"You _will _die if you don't feed from me, your body is rejecting the change, you _need_ vampire blood, I can feel you dying right now, I can feel your heart beginning to fail. I can't let that happen," his eyes desperate and pleading, and I felt it; I felt how much he needed me to do this. How bad he wanted me to live, not just for his own benefit.

He swiped away tears with his thumbs.

"Please drink from me Bella."

Once again he directed me down to his neck. I hesitated, I couldn't do it, no matter how much he wanted me to, I couldn't.

But he made that decision for me when he brought his thumb to the artery of his neck, with one slice; I was presented with a thin line of beading red at the seams of the cut.

I couldn't control what happened from there, the smell hit me and I wasn't in my body anymore. My tongue automatically found the cut; blood flowing faster now as I took a few pulls. Edward's body stiffened under me, as we both moaned at the same time.

I gripped the other side of his neck, pulling him closer to me as I tried to get more, extinguishing the flames that raged within me. He withered underneath me and I couldn't control myself, my grip tightened on his right arm, hard enough I knew it must be hurting even him. But he gripped my hips just as hard, not breaking any bone at all.

I felt his pants at my ear, his cheek pressing against mine, fingers running through my hair as he struggled to stay still.

"Okay Bella, stop," he breathed, already sounding impossibly weak.

I could do it, I could just keep drinking, right now I was sure if I did he would die and I would live. It would be payback for what he did to me. His breathing stopped as he realized this too. But he didn't pull me off, he didn't say anything. He didn't _do _anything.

And then_ I_ realized that I would be completely alone in this world without him, I mean, if I did change I wasn't even sure if there were others, most likely, but I didn't even know where to start. And why would I want to pursue them anyway? They were all probably like Edward before he seemed to change.

I pulled away, licking my lips collecting any excess. My breathing was ragged as I watched Edward lift a thumb to his lips, inserting it before bringing it over to the bleeding cut on his neck. I stared, transfixed as the blood started to clot, the cut healing.

I leaned over, wanting to get rid of the blood still on his neck, but he silently stopped me.

He shook his head, "If you lick it again, it'll only start to bleed," he whispered, his eyelids drooping, his body relaxing into the mattress.

I noticed how tired he was, his whole body relying on the bed to keep him up right. I climbed off of him then quietly thinking he wouldn't want my weight on him.

"Where are you going?" he murmured.

I shook my head, I wasn't going anywhere?

I realized then that I felt great, I felt no more pain with this charged energy running through my veins now, knowing it was Edward's blood, I just couldn't believe it. I looked to the window to still see the moon, and then back at Edward's body lounging on the bed, his eyes closed, his breathing slowing down.

He looked as if he were sleeping.

I heard myself sigh than, in the glow of the moon, he looked so beautiful it made my heart ache. I knew nothing about this creature lying on my bed, and yet I was becoming more like him with each passing day, every minute I was coming closer to being him.

I crawled over to him, his face relaxing as I ran a slow hand through his hair. Here he was, as vulnerable as ever, as much as I had been on some of those endless nights. And I couldn't bring myself to do a damn thing about it.

Instead I leaned forward and placed my first kiss to him on the corner of his left eye. It was a little peck, but the significance was I gave it to him. And then I gave another on the other corner of his right eye, feeling his eyelashes fluttering against my cheek and found myself giggling as it tickled, _giggling._

I pulled back to find his eyes very much open and studying mine. Oh he looked so tired.

I pursed my lips, "Now you know how I felt," I quipped, incapable of reaching anything serious at the moment.

"Oh har," his eyes turning into slits as I let him pull me down, his mouth lazily slanting over mine, a warmth enveloping my insides as I realized his skin now felt hot against mine.

The same temperature.

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	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, REALLY long chapter. **

**15k  
**

**But this is the last one. **

**And I hope you guys enjoyed it.**

**Maybe when I've finally wrapped up the other stories I have swimming around in my head, I'll continue this one.**

**idk.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

You've been here for five weeks and it feels like I haven't even seen you."

"I'm sorry Em, believe it or not Librarians do a lot more work than one would originally think, and I just got settled in the house."

This had been going on for the past fifteen minutes as I sipped away at a Pepsi, the only thing I could keep down these days. Now that I didn't have to worry about Emmett seeing me I just stuck with tank tops and sweatpants, but I had been covering the marks up for so long it made me realize how much they had gotten carried away.

"Yeah, something you didn't even have to do, I didn't know someone could find a house and buy it that quickly."

_That's because Edward had done all that a month ago._

Of course I found Edward buying a house excessive, but I really had no choice in the matter, the veiny bluish streaks had moved up my jaw and behind my ears, creeping up the sides. My best bet to hide those were to keep my hair down all the time, but even I couldn't do that around Emmett 24/7.

So, I had no choice but to grab my still-packed suitcases and move in, the only problem with that was, Edward could stop by whenever he wanted. I had pretty much lied to Emmett about everything since I got here, of course I couldn't get the Librarian job, I couldn't work looking like this and when the process was done I wouldn't need to.

That's what Edward said anyways.

Already it sounded crazy to try and avoid Emmett when I only lived across town, but it was expected and I hoped it worked. Or I could come up with the excuse that I just didn't like it here, pick up and leave, but that wouldn't work either, I'd still be expected to show up and at least say bye.

Nothing was clear at this point.

"Emmett," I sighed, exhaustion fogging my mind already, "I gotta go, I'm restocking shelves and really, there should be no talking in the library." I staged whispered, really just shelving books in my house.

"Yeah, okay, I'll talk to you Tuesday; I have to work a double."

"Bye,"

I let out a sigh of relief once he finally hung up, all this lying was beginning to wear on me, and the fact I was getting all this blue shit crap all over myself.

"Now you're just hurting my feelings,"

I whipped around to see him leaning against the kitchen counter, way beyond annoyed to be surprised that he just showed up, he made it a common occurrence now a days.

"Maybe I am," I glared back, "You never had to go through with this, and I never wanted to do it in the first place!"

"I can't eat, I can't sleep, this fucking scar is hurting all the time, I have to stay cooped up indoors, I'm lying to Emmett, and eventually I'm going to have to lie to Charlie. And you just stand there smiling like everything is all hunky dory." I growled, motioning towards him. He _did_ have that smug smile on his face, finding my tantrum amusing.

"Have I ever told you, you look adorable when you're angry sweet pea?" perching his chin on his hand that was leaning on the counter.

I shot daggers at him, throwing a book at him, one, two, and three.

"You know what? I've the mind to just leave, what would happen then? Oh yeah, you're not all smug now huh? If I leave we both die, well at this point, I could care less what happens to me." I quip, walking out the living room door and onto the patio, the sun was covered by clouds and it was snowing, I was fine.

I leaned against the wooden rail, trying to catch a breath, the wood splitting under my crushing fingers; I looked down, startled, as I experimentally closed my hands into fists. Fair enough the wood cracked and snapped under the force, the railing coming apart.

I lifted my hands to my face, looking for any torn skin or bleeding palms or at least splinters.

There were none.

"Remarkable, it's going faster then I originally thought."

I ignored him behind me as I stared at the undamaged skin, forming an idea.

Without another thought I lifted one foot and stepped off the balcony, plummeting at least thirty feet into the ravine below the house.

_Edward must be having a heart attack._

I giggled at the thought on my way down.

"Bella!"

I looked up, my smile fading as I saw that Edward had dove off the balcony head first, arms by his side, that way he was picking up a lot more speed a lot quicker than I was.

This gave him the velocity and momentum to reach me, curling his arms around me, practically encasing me in his own body as we crashed through the frozen river down below, the sound of cracking ice being crushed under Edward's weight vibrating around us as we entered the freezing water, hitting the bottom.

I kept my eyes open, amazed that I could see very clearly under the iced water, almost as if I wasn't under the water at all. Edward grabbed my waist as he pushed off the dirt covered river bottom, the momentum he gained from the push catapulting us all the way out of the water and into the marshes beside the ice capped river.

I coughed and sputtered as water left my mouth by the handfuls.

"You are the most idiotic person I have ever met! What were you thinking!"

Edward pulled me to him, furious as he shook me a little. He cupped my face, trying to meet my eyes, my soaked hair getting tangled around the tips of his fingers in the process.

"I just wanted to see something," I answered, quite honest.

"Christ, you're not immortal yet Bella," he responded breathy, pulling me to him in an embrace.

I rested my forehead against his shoulder, a little jittery adrenaline still pumping through my veins.

His fingers ran through my hair to the back of my neck, tilting my head up. When I obliged, I was only met with his lips a shock emitting all the way to the ends my toes. I jumped and pulled back startled. My eyes were wide as I watched his quickly dilate. His lips were parted and I found myself distracted by the water droplets trailing down his face as he watched me through hooded eyes.

I was powerless as both his forefinger and thumb tilted my chin up, his lips proceeding to curve over mine. I sucked in air through my nose as his tongue immediately licked its way into my mouth, smoothing over mine. His forehead brushed against mine as he swiveled his neck to the side, only trying to reach deeper, always deeper.

His arm then slipped under my knees, hauling me up onto his lap as he continued his onslaught. And even though I didn't care to admit I wasn't complaining one bit, his kisses made my blood boil. That's when I realized, I had been only wearing a tank top, and floppy sweatpants; I had fallen thirty feet out of my house and had fallen into a freezing cold river. Most people would be going into hyperthermia by now or quite easily dead.

All I could think about was his searing hot breath washing over my cheeks as he exhaled, sucking on my bottom lip, once, twice, before slowly pulling away.

I laid there for a minute, my eyes closed as I tried to process what just happened and what this meant.

Edward's eyes were lifting up to my forehead, smoothing over my hair, and down to my arms, apparently trying to find any injury. His palms smoothed over the puffy blue veins visible through my pale arms, soothing the dry icy skin. I met his gaze trying to read through his eyes.

He swallowed, "I don't regret wanting you as a mate, but I feel guilty that you still can't get used to the idea of being with me," he explained, voice thick with sadness. He sure did look like he regretted his decision.

He sighed, pulling back, but I stayed in his lap because it quieted the pulsing heart rate that was steadily increasing every day, and it was obvious my heartbeat was way too fast now to be normal. A human would've died already. He ran a hand through his damp hair before continuing.

"I – I've been thinking, if you…by the time you're changed, and you don't – you're not happy with me, then I won't stop you if you want to leave," he murmured, absolutely protesting to meet my eyes, looking anywhere but me. I concentrated on my fingers twisting on my lap.

"Where would I go?" my voice small, pathetic.

He seemed to contemplate my question, his head turning to watch the ice caps.

"There are whispers of covens, you could be a nomad, like I was."

I snorted at that; already isolated and cut off enough as it was.

"And what will you do? Find another mate?"

The thought left my heart sputtering in my chest, a searing pain reaching my scar at the thought; I didn't want him to find someone else. I wasn't sure if it was to make sure he didn't torment another girl, the scar speaking, or if I was being selfish, that I really did want him.

A heavy breath caused his chest to deflate, me rising and falling with his torso as his lungs expelled their air. Edward's eyes met mine then, and he must've found what he was looking for in them.

"You've changed."

It's all I could whisper.

He snorted at this, smoothing the pads of his fingers down my forearm.

"That makes both of us," he murmured.

I leaned my forehead against his cheek, and I knew in that moment I was where I was supposed to be. A wave of calm settled over me, loosening up in my chest, slowing down my heart. My eyes drifted closed and my muscles relaxed as everything fell into place.

It may not have been what I wanted, but it will have to do.

And if he kept looking at me the way he had been lately, I was afraid I'd want this too much. I'd need him too much.

I smoothed my hand down his neck, delighting in the shiver that passed through him and into me.

"Well, don't get your hopes up, you may drive me crazy by centuries end," I half chuckled, half sobbed.

He pulled me closer, burying his face in my hair as I snuggled deeper into his hold.

I let out a low breath, "Can we at least tell them? We met, and we're together, that's all." I half begged, wanting some kind of closure, I couldn't do it to Emmett and Charlie; I have already left Emmett in the dark so much already. He knew I was keeping secrets and I knew I hurt him every time I did, but it's not like I could tell him what was really going on.

I'm turning into a vampire.

Bring on the loony bin, there's no doubt I've lost my mind.

He sighed, his breath washing over my drying hair.

"You know we can't, Bella."

I nodded silently, finding my hands suddenly interesting.

"Come; let's get you some dry clothes on."

After I managed to undress and dress again, I found myself flopping on top of my bed upstairs. I groaned as I buried my cheek into my pillow; allowing my body to relax for a bit muscles loosening, I could finally let my mind rest. The nerves around my neck only sparking once in a while as I took in a few deep breaths.

I looked over to see Edward casually leaning against the door jam, arms crossed as he did a once over.

"I haven't slept in the past three days," I noted, adjusting my head on the pillow, too content to move.

This caused a deep frown to form, his arms uncrossing as he wandered over to the bed, sitting down next me.

"I don't sleep," was his reply. My brows furrowed, eyes wandering over his face and torso.

"We – I mean, you, don't sleep? So, I'll never sleep again? Is that what you're saying?" My breath picking up at the thought, what would I do without sleep? I was so tired right now, how would I function?

His face stayed calm as he listened to my rant, a hand coming to cup my right cheek.

"You're getting closer everyday Bella, things will change, when's the last time you've eaten?" He raised an eyebrow, already guessing my answer.

"Four days," I frowned.

He shook his head, exhaling his eyes darkening as something ran through his head, he seemed torn about something; I just wish I knew what it was.

"There's a way to get you to sleep, after all you need your rest, but I know you'll absolutely refuse." He stated, his eyes coming back to mine, they had darkened considerably as he began to swallow. That made me figure out his reasoning.

My scar burned and flared at the idea and I couldn't help but bring my other hand up to cover the angry skin, it seemed to bubble and bristle under my palm.

Of course he didn't miss this, his dark eyes coming to rest on my hand. My heart began its heavy steady beat; it only ever did beat around him these days, which was scary as hell. My stomach did flip flops and I could hear my pulse ring in my ears. It was very obvious which side wanted him to and which side didn't.

I scooted back a little as he came closer to lie on his side, his movements slow only for my benefit, but I could see the excitement shine in his eyes as he came closer. And God damnit did I feel it roaring in my own veins as he neared.

"Now don't get any funny ideas, because whatever they are there is no way –"

His chin jutted forward, effectively cutting me off, his lips fleshing over mine.

I pulled away, bringing my hands forward, palms up, not liking the situation I was finding myself in at all.

"You better think twice, it won't be long until I'll be able to take you on," I challenged, scooting further up the bed, bumping into pillows, helping me decide to throw a couple as I planned my escape. While he, unfazed whatsoever just kept crawling closer.

"Hm, that might be a sight willing to see," he replied, a smirk firmly in place.

Damn his tousled hair, freaky pale skin and unnatural black eyes.

Soon I bumped into the head board, turning my head to the side and leaping off the mattress, my ankle twisting around the blanket in the process.

"Hmph," was all I could say as I fell to the floor. I had no time to recover however, because Edward was immediately grabbing my waist in my weakness turning me over, trapping me in with both hands hitting the wooden floor on each side of my head with a 'thump'.

"You try too hard."

I stared up at the ceiling as his lips descended to the little patch of skin behind my ear, his nose nudging the lobe, and trailing down the left side of my neck, brushing the scar tissue a little, causing my body to jerk. My hands twisted at my sides, squeezing into fists as I closed my eyes, waiting for the sharp pain to occur.

_Just do it already. _

"Bella."

I opened my eyes at his faint whisper.

And that's when he did it, the bastard.

I gasped as he bit down, but I didn't feel any pain, the nerves around the bite mark must've been fried enough as it was.

Not breaking his concentration, he nudged my legs apart with his knees, pressing his torso down on top of mine; his hair tickling against my cheek. He retracted his teeth than, wrapping his lips around the swollen broken skin, it felt bizarre, like he was placing open mouthed kisses against my neck instead.

I squirmed against the wood, my left hand gripping the sheet that had fallen down with me, squeezing the fabric between my fingers. I couldn't concentrate as he licked, once, twice, my heart starting and stopping in time with each one. I realized I was gasping against his ear and that I felt like I was burning up, searing the wooden floors into embers.

"Ed-Edward," I struggled to get out, all he did was grab my hand that had the blankets in a vice grip, intertwining our fingers as he brought my forefinger to the crease in his neck, still left over from weeks ago. Of course I had never forgotten what it felt like to have that kind of power over him, to make him vulnerable.

I choked on my own heart as it jumped into my throat, feeling warmth against my fingernail as he used it to cut through his skin. A lot closer than I thought, I was almost indestructible now.

"Um – I – I –"I blabbered as I took in what he was wanting me to do.

Again he said nothing, pulling back while licking his lips.

He just cupped the back of my head, directing me to where his neck met his shoulder, going ahead and pressing my lips against the open cut. At this point I was way beyond control anymore.

While I took up my task, he continued with his.

Edward pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms tightly around my back, lifting me off the ground for us to get closer, too content with my own self; I wrapped my legs around his calves.

After a while he pulled away once I had started to feel weak, but unexpectedly, he just held my lips to his neck longer than I thought he would've liked. But he just buried his face in my hair as he pulled our bodies tighter with his other arm that was pushed under me, his heavy breaths ruffling the back of my hair.

I think then, it really sunk in; what I was turning into. What Edward made me become. That's when I was finally able to drift off to sleep.

My eyes fluttered opened later, my hair was tangled, my muscles were relaxed and the sheets were sprawled everywhere on the bed.

And I felt _awesome. _

There was no way in describing it, a euphoria wrapped around my limbs in a warm caress, I arched my back and stretched out my arms and legs feeling as limber and as lithe as a cat.

I let out a delightful moan as my left shoulder and back popped.

I lifted myself slightly off the bed, content with lounging in the warm sheets for a while, the room pitch black. That didn't mean I couldn't see though.

I marveled in the heightened senses as I took in the appearance of the room in silver and gray hues.

A huge smile spread over my lips then.

The first genuine smile I've had since I arrived.

I took a deep lungful of air as I practically leaped off the bed, gasping and stumbling a little as I jumped a lot further then I originally anticipated. I laughed it off and strode to the sliding door leading to the balcony. I pressed my hands to the metal railing, indifferent to the freezing temperatures as I basked in the moonlight and fluffy falling snowflakes.

I lifted up my palm, delighting in memorizing each one, different from the last, really different.

I leaned over the railing, contemplating climbing up and trying a swan dive (ha!) this time, certain the fall wouldn't mean anything. Biting my lip, I tried to contain the huge grin at the thought of Edward's panicked expression.

The wind picked up, my hair billowing around my face, neck and shoulders, tickling the hyper-sensitive skin, the crisp, clean air really waking me up. I blinked; my eyesight had never been so clear and I giggled as snowflakes began to cling to my eyelashes.

I was so _happy._

This just felt so surreal.

"Bella –"

Even _he_ couldn't ruin it for me, especially him.

I turned; ready to call him out here when I saw him at the sliding glass window, both of us freezing in our movement.

I felt my lips drop open, never seeing him half naked before. I gaped because he was only clad in a black towel, accenting his pale white skin, rivaling the falling snow around us.

He, for some unknown reason was gaping at me for another thought all together.

"Bella – I –you are, look at you," he whispered, his eyes raking over my form. His voice confused me by his intensity, the weakness and _pride_ I picked up from it. It didn't make any sense with the way he was looking at me.

"What – what's wrong with me," I wondered, spreading my arms out in front of me.

And that's when I gasped, gaping at my own self.

_The blue veiny things! They're gone! _

I hadn't even noticed!

The puffy veins must've retreated back under my skin, my fingers shot up to my neck, and sure enough the angry, swollen, hot scar tissue was gone only leaving behind a smooth, silken bite mark slightly colder than the rest of my skin.

Not willing to believe it, I pulled my tank top farther down, craning my neck down to look at it. I smoothed the pads of fingers over the skin, marveling over the scars absence. I've had it for so long already, I just couldn't believe it.

I blazed past Edward, ignoring the speed that carried me to the bathroom quicker than any human being. I turned on the bright florescent light, squinting and wincing first at its intensity. I made it to the floor length mirror just tossing my tank top to the side, uncaring at this point.

And there it was, only the smoothest patch of my skin, snuggled into the flesh where my neck met my shoulder.

This only met…

"It's finished, you're done," Edward stated behind me, transfixed by the vision I made in the mirror.

It's done, I'm done.

Three months.

I was done.

A patented finish; a product for Edward.

I didn't recognize the girl in the mirror, as pale and translucent as silk. Her hair was a darker auburn with slight hues of honey highlights. It tumbled down her back in thick waves as shiny as ever.

My eyes met Edward's in the mirror, and I was shocked at what I saw.

He looked, bewitched, the only word I could come up with to describe the way he was looking at me. If I could I would've blushed with how intense and smoldering his eyes were at that moment.

_If I could._

The concept was hard to grasp.

He swallowed and with hooded, determined eyes he strode over to me, turning me around to cup my face.

"You asked – if you were to leave – would I find another mate. My answer, is no." Edward shook his head, lips parted as he tried to suck in a breath. "I may have an eternity to search, but I don't think I would be able to find another person who looked like you, who _is_ you, because there simply isn't one."

He gave a little smirk, probably for what he was going to say next.

"You may question my way of living, and hate my guts for all eternity, but there is one thing you'll never have to question, and that's that I want you, always, you're such a hassle, and you can annoy me to all hell. But I wouldn't want that to change at all."

I stood there and stared, blinking a couple of times.

"That's it? That's the best you can do? 'I want you'?"

He seemed taken back for a second, nodding slowly after a minute.

I let my arms dangle at my sides.

"No heartfelt passionate declaration? No you have bewitched me, let's ride off into the sunset?"

His eyebrows furrowed, clueless on to where I was going with this, honestly I didn't know either.

I found myself sniffling.

"You drink my blood, make me suffer for several weeks, and you can't even muster up the courage to say I love you?"

This made his jaw drop, his shoulders dropping as he stared at me.

"That's…what you want? I was trying to take things slow…" he trailed off, looking completely lost.

I snorted, "I think we're a little past that hun, I mean, hell! How do I say it, you've wrecked my baby, you kidnap me, you _bite_ me, you stalk and torment me, you practically threaten to kill my brother, you change me into one of you, and _now_, now you want to take things _slow_?"

He nodded dumbly.

Males, they never change, no matter which species they belong to.

"Wait, you're _baby_?" He looked like he was going to start hyperventilating for a second.

"Yeah, my Subaru, you wrecked it to all hell, it's probably sitting in some junk yard right now."

And who could forget Rodger.

"Your…Subaru?"

I rolled my eyes, "That's beside the point, my point is, you have to try harder than that."

With my statement I walked around him and headed towards my bedroom.

Like I expected, he grabbed my arm before I could reach the archway.

"Now wait just a minute sweetheart, you're forgetting something."

I just smiled as he turned me around, crushing his lips to mine, something I wasn't expecting to be honest. He completely smothered me in his embrace, mushing my chest to his, my smile dying on my lips as he devoured them.

I rested my hands on his chest, listening to his moan and my intake of breath as our naked skin brushed against each others. His hands cupped both sides of my face and I found myself getting lost in this, in him.

At that, I pulled away.

Edward's face was full of shock and surprise as I backed away, blabbering about something.

"I – I, you see, Edward –"

"You said my name," he smiled, stepping closer, still hanging onto that towel.

"No, now you stay right there mister, no funny business, here you are trying to dazzle me and it won't work, no it won't," I stuttered, continuing to back up. He just smiled that sweet smile he was beginning to adapt and I didn't like it one bit.

If this scene could only get more bizarre, and I thought me turning into a vampire was enough, but the day Edward turned sweet on me was the day the cows came home.

And with that glitter in his eye…oh he was totally and completely smitten.

Big time.

I didn't think I'd see the day.

My breathing hitched as he neared, my eyes wandering down to his toes, my mouth watered, _watered _at the sight of his bare feet, the sight of him half naked really.

Oh be still my heart.

Ironic, no?

"Now, that's close enough," I point my finger dumbly to the place he was standing. Of course he didn't listen, stepping over the imaginary boundary I just set.

Without a second thought I blazed down the staircase, even though I couldn't complain about a hot half naked guy chasing me around my house.

I screeched as his arms wrapped around me, burying his face in my hair as he held against my struggles.

"Let go of me you bastard! Let – "I cut off with a deep intake of air as he nudged the side of my neck with his nose, brushing his soft lips against the skin, smiling against me. It was contagious, even though I couldn't see it.

"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?" he murmured, beginning to pepper kisses underneath my jaw.

"You say that now," I grumbled, gripping his forearms as he lifted my feet slightly from the floor.

"Hmm," was his reply as he continued his onslaught.

God, did he make my stomach quiver and my body tremble. I felt my neck titling to the side as he trailed up to my chin, turning my head to give him great access to my lips. Edward's fingers twirled and tangled in my hair, his other hand coming up to cup my chin, his thumb resting on the underside as his fingers curled around my cheek.

"Do you want to go…" he trailed off, breathing in gasps brushing against my cheeks and nose.

"Yeah," I whispered, feeling my head nod in agreement.

He nodded quickly then, his forehead brushing against mine as his lips met mine once again as we began to stumble back towards the stairs. Edward hoisted me up against him; taking the stairs two at a time as I craned my neck down to reach his lips properly. I wrapped my leg tightly around him, locking my ankles tight as I cradle his jaw in my hands.

Did I ever mention how good he smelled?

I squealed as we were suddenly falling on top the bed, and I found myself laughing remarkable as we heard it crack a little.

I slapped his chest, "You jerk, don't whine if I never trust you."

He just snuggled into my side, breathing in as he smiled.

"You do anyways," he coaxed, cupping one side of my face, kissing away the pout that had formed on my lips.

"You presume too much," I breathed, and I would've pulled away if it wasn't for his tight hold.

Instead I relaxed against his side, resting my head on the pillow next to me. That's when I really looked at him, his bronze hair had dried from his shower, skin nice and smooth and clean, I experimentally ran the pads of my fingers across the skin. His eyelashes fluttering at the contact, I smiled.

But what really got me were his eyes, in this glowing room they were glowing the brightest, glittering as he smirked against my fingers.

I bit on my bottom lip, trying to contain my grin as he kissed the tips.

"I'm actually quite impressed with this towel, staying on for as long as it has," he started.

I tried to tuck my chin into my shoulder to hide my embarrassment at his teasing, but Edward would have none of that.

He snuffed out my being shy with hooded eyes and kisses that left me reeling.

Of course modesty was kind of a waste then being that I had been in my bra and sweatpants ever since the bathroom. I realized this once his kisses started to trail down south to the swells of my breasts.

"Okay Edward, now wait just a –"my fingers shot out to tangle in his hair as he began to suck at the sensitive skin just around the cup. He met my eyes through thick lashes, my mouth parting as he continued his assault.

My hands then trailed down his sides, scratching over his back, delighting in his groan, feeling a shiver run up his spine; back muscles clenching and convulsing under my palms.

"There's my girl," he whispered, his hands then slipping under the cups to pull the material down to my ribcage, effectively causing my breasts to spill from their confines.

I let a shiver pass through my arms and legs, arching my back as he licked and sucked at the places I wanted most. He pulled away suddenly, his breathing ragged and eyes wild.

"No foreplay, I know you're ready for me," he murmured, reaching behind me to unsnap my bra tossing it carelessly aside. My eyes grew wide, when his hands tugged at the towel, realizing he wasn't kidding.

"Wait Edward, really," I started, grabbing at his wrists in panic. He didn't really think we were going to have sex, did he?

"Come on sweet, don't leave me waiting."

Well, yes, yes he did.

"Please, there are many vampire women out there that I'm sure would love to sleep with you, not including me."

I had to rein in my giggles at his dejected expression, he really did look crest fallen.

"Bella, you're my mate, that's what we do," he explained slowly, as if he were talking to a five year old vamp.

Did they have baby vampires?

I shook my head, trying to focus.

"That doesn't mean married people go at it all the time," I countered, brushing my hair out of my face, the curls starting to tickle my nose as the wind from the balcony blew in, bringing snowflakes with it. After all, we didn't feel the chill, didn't really matter.

"So – we get married, and then we can mate?"

I scoffed, grabbing onto his arms as he hovered over me.

"You're just the same as any other male! That's not the whole point of marriage! And –and what makes you think I'd even want to marry you anyway?"

Edward titled his head to the side, "I don't see why we're having this conversation when we could be doing something else," I rolled my eyes.

"Maybe I don't _want _to do it."

"Then what was with all the moaning, and parted lips, and all the –everything else?"

I huffed, trying to scoot out from under him.

"It's called coercion, which you _almost _succeeded." I twisted this way and that, finally able to crawl to the other side of the bed, but I didn't get far, soon finding myself trapped by his arms.

"Now wait just a minute doll face."

"Doll face! Do you really think I'll respond to that!"

"You just did," he chuckled against my neck, his chest pressing into my shoulders.

"Umpf," my voice muffled as my face was met with the mattress.

"Do you want to marry me Bella?" he murmured against my ear, peppering kisses every which way.

"I alwwreade saaid no," I mumbled against the comforter. His hands were soft as he pulled back my hair, his lips a whisper to my temple.

"That's not what I'm looking for," he cooed.

I gasped, my hands reaching for the sheets as I felt him nudging against my backside. One hand supported his body over me, while the other smoothed up and down my side, snapping the elastic of my sweatpants.

"Don't you dare," I gasped, squirming under him, my hips swiveling against his crotch unintentionally. He groaned as his crotch met friction with my ass, causing me to freeze where he was.

His breathing increased as he paid no mind, his palm pressing between my shoulder blades, my breasts mushed between me and the mattress as he applied pressure. I gripped the sheets tighter as he continued his experimental twisting of the hips. I opened my mouth to say something but was silenced as he rested his forehead against my shoulder, moaning lightly in my ear.

I automatically endured the shiver that rode up my spine, my right hand instantly shooting up to cup the one side of his head, his left cheek pressing against mine.

My eyes were closed, but I knew his lips would meet mine if I turned my head to the side.

I wasn't let down.

There were no pretenses when his tongue licked its way into my mouth, his hot breath fast to my own. Edward's chest pressed up against my backside, letting his weight rest on my back as he quickly used both hands to remove my comfy warm sweatpants from my legs, the material slithering down to my feet. Next I heard the rustle of cotton fabric as he slipped off the towel that had been clinging to his hips religiously.

I froze when I realized that left him completely bare behind me, feeling the rough coarse hair of his legs tangling against mine. He shushed me, his thumb smoothing into the sides of my underwear, slipping it slowly off my hips.

And I let him.

Edward pulled me to my side then, hovering over me the entire time. I was too afraid to look down, so I made sure my eyes stayed locked with his. I shivered again as the tips of his fingers ghosted over the skin of my thigh, his eyes glittering in the moonlight.

I had no say then when I felt my head raise off the bed, seeking out his lips, Edward offering them up to me. It was so slow, and so soft, and so achingly pleasurable, his kisses filling up with emotions that poured through me. I felt him then, hot, throbbing and pulsing against my hip, a force of its own, pressed between us.

It would be obvious to say that I was intimidated by him of course, by it, but I suddenly felt him snuff all of that out, with his slow caress. He cupped my head in both his hands, tangling my hair in between his fingers on purpose.

"I will not force this on you, tell me and tell me now, it is up to you Bella," he murmured, smoothing his nose amongst my cheek and jawline. I felt my eyelashes flutter against his skin as I let my form relax back into the bed, my frame sinking a little further into the mattress as I let him continue with his doting kisses and whispers.

My arms lifted up, my hands cupping either side of his face, my thumbs smoothing over the apples of his sharp cheekbones, silently telling him to look at me.

Edward slowly pulled back, his lips swollen and slightly purse, looking deliciously kissable; I tried to hold back, keeping my mind on track.

His eyes were something else, though, I forgot what I was going to say as I took in their light, glittering taking up everything in this room, consuming me with it. I bit my bottom lip, a slight grin taking up his face; I could tell he was trying to conceal it. Figuring words were the least of our worries then, I pulled him down to me, jutting my chin forward so my lips could capture his properly, claiming them as my own, and mine only.

My hand smoothed down the sides of his waist, his shiver ran through me as his kisses became more frantic, his tongue smoothing over cheek, up the roof of my mouth, massaging my own. He pressed his torso to mine then, his stomach pressing against my abdomen, every part of our skin touching. And that's when I parted my legs, Edward nestling between them comfortably.

It felt like he belonged there.

Which scared me the most.

"I want forever or nothing at all," he growled, painfully serious, his hands gripping both sides of my face, a gasp coming forth as I felt him at the cleft of my thighs.

"I…I..."I knew my face would burn if I still had the amount of blood to fill it. I knew what he wanted; I knew what he had accomplished and what he expected. The problem was; I had no clue what I wanted or what I really_ needed_. Edward's eyes regarded mine silently, resting half his body weight over me, his legs tangling with my ankles at the foot of the bed, our limbs already tangled in the crisp sheets.

"You're so stubborn," he smirked his eyes crinkling at the corners, his nose brushing up against mine in an Eskimo kiss.

"Open up to me Bella."

His arms wrapped around my back then, completely encompassing me in his warmth, I was a little surprised though when he began to pull us both back, bringing me with him. His smile was soft as he brought me up to straddle his thighs.

"Touch me."

His voice was deep and even, but his body language said something that was the complete opposite. His chest was almost heaving with his breaths, his shoulders slumping in my direction, his hands cupping my elbows as I made sure to keep my eyes on his.

I bit my lip contemplating my choices.

_Well shit, I had none. _

I think we all knew what my next move was, he knew, I knew, ha! Here we were naked in front of God and everything sitting together in the middle of my bed.

I tucked my feet under his calves as he went to work, thoroughly going to town on my neck, bringing the skin in his mouth, sucking insistently.

Without his careful scrutiny I was able to collect some courage, my fingers grazing over the throbbing organ that seemed to whine for attention between us. His hips jerked a little under me, jostling us both as he concentrated on the skin of my neck as I…concentrated something else.

Even with the shy, timid exploration of my fingers, Edward was able to find pleasure out of it. How I had no clue, but this suddenly made me feel bold; my hand wrapping securely around the base.

"Com'ere. Come here."

Edward's voice was eager and I couldn't help the anticipation rising in my throat. His hands rested on my hips, softly tugging my body closer to his, his legs folded undermine as I rested on his powerful thighs. My hands anchored themselves on his shoulders, ready, I wanted him and I couldn't wait to have him.

I brought my lips into my mouth, folding them over one another wetting the dry tissue biting down as I tried to gather concentration.

"Bella."

My eyes darted to his as he said my name, trying to see if we were in this together. The smile that took up his whole face told me that he must've found something in my expression that he was looking for. I couldn't help but grin back, Edward leaning forward to capture my lips in his own.

"Okay…" he breathed against me, pulling me closer, "You just lay back, let me do all the work," he purred, cupping my breasts in both of his hands, squeezing them gently. I squirmed and withered by his words and touches, ready, just ready for him to do it.

My inner walls clenched and I wanted him _now _it felt painful, my body practically screaming for something, anything to occupy that space. But in my case, I wanted Edward. I rose up on my knees, my fingers gripping at skin, figuring he'd get the message. He's a smart one, so he did, his fingers smoothing down my stomach, skimming over my belly button to reach the apex of my thighs.

My eyes fluttered and I felt myself clench involuntary by meeting his fingers, the tips gathering wetness, bringing it out to the outer glistening skin, smoothing it over the cleft.

"Please Edward…just please," I pled, cupping his face, scratching my nails through his hair.

His eyes sparked then at my begging, the obvious want in my eyes as I offered myself to him.

Edward didn't waste any time as he gripped himself, a burn filling up my limbs at the sight, feeling jealous of his hand, I wanted to do it. He stroked himself a few times and I felt my back arch, skin asking for more skin, aching for it. My eyes were stuck on the sight as we both watch his hand touch himself.

"Enough already," I growled, realizing the teasing shine in his eyes. He chuckled then, his hand trailing down to squeezed my ass gently before pushing my lower back closer to him.

And with that, he finally, _finally_ lined us both up, my hips taking no pretense as I hurried to sink down onto him. We both groaned then as Edward tugged me impossibly closer to him, both our breathing picking up by his invasion, and my enveloping. My eyes fluttered closed, Edward's forehead dropping to come and rest on mine, his powerful hands gripping my thighs, bringing them to wrap completely around him, my ankles crossing on his back. I gasped as that brought him deeper inside me, touching a very sensitive spot.

"Jesus, love," Edward's sighs ruffling the curls that rested against my cheeks.

The feeling of him filling me up was so delicious; my eyes rolling in the back of my head as he gripped my waist, slowly moving my hips back and then forward. I bit my lip, my eyes fluttering as he did it again and again. With a grunt Edward snapped his hips forward, a violent gasp slipping from my mouth as I hurriedly wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying face in his neck as he picked up our pace.

I listened to him moan and whimper in my ear as his hands smoothed down my back, cupping each cheek in his hands as he lifted us slightly off the bed, my head lulling back as he rained down kisses to the bone lining my shoulder.

My hold tightened as he rose up on his knees, my eyes shooting open as I fell backward on the bed, Edward hovering over me.

"At least tell me when you do that," I murmured, gasping as he reached deeper, practically rubbing against my cervix.

Edward smiled at this, a chuckle building up in his throat, his head thrown back as he moved over me.

"Does that mean we'll be doing this a lot more often?"

I hummed, gripping his forearms that rested on each side of my shoulders, the tips of my fingers running over the coarse hair that lightly dusted the skin. Of course that was just for looks, we had no trouble at regulating body temperature; I was beginning to find out, except for this moment.

I bit my lip then trying to hide a smile, an idea forming.

"That just depends how well you do on the trial run."

His eyes glazed over then, his eyebrows hooded.

"A trial run, eh? You won't remember which limb is where once I get through with you little lady."

I couldn't help the giggle that seeped from my lips, ending in a moan as he pulled me closer, his stomach pressing against mine as he stilled for a second.

I squirmed under his weight, my toes curled; all I could concentrate on was the pulsing heat that surrounded his now still form. It throbbed and swelled a heartbeat that now replaced my dead one. Or at least one that now pumped blood that would kill anyone mortal.

Listen to me; I was definitely lost and pathetic.

"I don't see anything comical about this Ms. Swan."

His growl caused a shiver to run up my spine.

I lifted my head to take in his glittering eyes, his bottom lip sucked into his mouth, a little crease between his eyebrows. That's when it began to sink in.

He was mine.

No matter how much he said I belonged to him, it worked both ways.

My thighs tightened around his hips, my fingers coming up to trail amongst his stubble. Jaw unnaturally chiseled, perfect.

He seemed to forget that he had stopped in order to spite me, which I didn't understand because he initiated this in the first place. Anyway, my eyes closed as he scooped down his lips fleshing over mine as he began a new rhythm. His hips taking the initiative, having a mind of their own as they began to rock against mine.

I couldn't tell if he had seen what I realized, but his kisses sure did imply just that.

I cupped the back of his neck, arching my back to make sure I met each thrust, Edward groaning against my lips as we continued this way. We eventually broke away panting, his breath washing over my chin and neck, his lips resting against my forehead as he moved, back and forth, back and forth.

I gasped again as he became rougher, gripping his shoulders, feeling myself closer with each passing second. I couldn't lie still, my feet smoothed down the back of his thighs, my fingers kept raking through his hair, my neck moved this way and that.

"Edward, I –"

My fingers squeezed the muscles in his shoulder blades, making him wince.

Edward pulled back then, his eyes calculating and determined as they smoldered, making my whole body catch fire by his gaze. I moaned and whimpered as he arched his back against me, crippling in its pleasure.

He surprised me again however, when he suddenly flipped us over, not missing a beat.

I quickly recovered, flicking my hair out of my face as I lifted myself up on my hands, leaning my palms on his chest as I slowly sat up. We both groaned as he reached deeper inside me, this position setting a deliciously different angle.

His hands gripped my smaller waist, his head pushing back into the pillows as his lips pursed forward, God he was beautiful. I sat up all the way, arching my back giving him a tantalizing view as I lifted myself settling back on my knees before sinking back down.

_Very _slowly.

His breathing picked up and I loved how fast his chest was rising and falling in his excitement and the glitter in his eyes, I wanted him to come I wanted to see his release so bad.

Which I was pretty close once he started lifting his hips up to reach mine, I gasped and whimpered, his hands shooting up to cup my head, Edward sitting up to practically eat away at my lips. He pulled at my chin, opening my mouth with one hand, while he pulled my leg around his waist with the other, my right leg followed.

So there we were in the middle of the bed where we first started out, only this time, I was dead close to losing it. My breathing sped while my eyes closed, nothing else mattered but this. I forgot about Emmett, the house, Charlie, even that I had turned into something inhuman.

It was just me and Edward.

"Bella, open your eyes."

My breath brushed against his fingers as they smoothed over my lips, my eyes meeting his, that look alone was enough to leave me undone. My body began to shake and my arms tightened around him as my legs began to spasm, I threw my head back, finding anything to hold onto as I let myself go.

Edward pulled me closer to keep my body still, holding on as he too let himself over the edge, listening to him groan and gasp against my shoulder, his breaths scalding hot against the skin. My forehead dropped on top of his head, moaning in exhaustion as he carefully took my breast in his mouth, sucking lightly.

As I dropped my head down farther, I felt my hair fall over us, covering his head and mine.

My eyes drifted closed for a second, cradling Edward's head to my shoulder as my body slumped completely against his.

That's the last thing I remembered.

"Bella…Bella?"

"Hm?"

I lifted my eyebrows slightly, feeling his breath wash over my cheek, rustling the hair that rested against my forehead.

"Hey? Wake up, come on,"

I grumbled as I felt his nimble fingers smoothing over my cheeks.

I was met with a smile as I fluttered my eyes open, my vision blurry for a second. But they closed again as Edward laid a kiss to my forehead.

"I was worried there for a second…" his soft voice trailing off in the quiet bedroom.

"I'm sorry," I whispered back, turning a little on my back to find him hovering over me, not really sure what I was apologizing for.

It didn't really matter though, because his expression was so soft and the light in his eyes just as bright. It didn't matter because I was all comfy cozy in the softest bed ever, with Edward sifting his fingers through my hair.

"I'm not sure when it's entirely over, but you've been sleeping for the past day."

My eyes widened at this, not knowing what to say to something like that. Maybe that's why I felt so good. I smoothed the backs of my fingers amongst the apple of his cheek as I thought about this, I must of worried him so, hell I would've been worried too if he slept for a day.

Edward smirked, grasping that hand to kiss my palm.

"I thought that you…well I – that," he didn't finish his sentence, his eyes downcast.

I shifted on the mattress, the blankets wanting to swallow me whole as I did so. Thinking about what he was trying to say, my eyebrows scrunching together as I took in his words and studied his face.

"Edward."

I murmured the one word, enough to get his attention and look at me.

But that was all I said as I cupped his face in my hands, tugging his head down so my lips could meet his. He met me eagerly, taking no pretenses between us as he devoured and sucked and bit and soothed.

Edward wrapped his arms around my back, slithering under me as he pulled me closer, my arms wrapping around his shoulders.

"Will you leave? Do you want to? Can you not forgive me? For I was selfish and conceited, I _did _only think of myself."

I was taken aback by his questions, I hadn't thought of any of those, nor could I leave him for I had no other place to go really, surely Emmett would notice, and I'm still not sure what my appetite entailed. Since in reality I haven't left this room since I changed, or whatever just happened to me in the past 3 months that I'd been here. Before I said anything he laid kisses amongst my jaw and neck, continuing his paranoid tirade.

"But now I can only think of one thing, there isn't one thought that doesn't include you in it."

"I'm sorry?" My whisper the only thing I could think to say.

He laughed at this, a real laugh.

"It's wonderful! I have never felt so selfless, everything I do, I do for you I hope you can see that."

I had seen that, in many cases already.

"I can't imagine myself leaving," my reply honest and soft, letting my thoughts well up in my eyes, hoping he could see.

He must've found something because I was attacked by more kisses. I couldn't help the giggle that built up in my throat at how eager he cupped my face, soon smoothing over my neck to cup it gently. I squeaked as he suddenly tugged me up, so I was sitting against him.

"Come on, I want to take you somewhere."

"Where?" I asked truly curious, I would go anywhere with him.

Edward just bit down on his lip, disappearing into the closet and coming back tossing clothes onto the bed, jeans and a sweater. I mentally shrugged and decided to go with it.

"Edward? What do you think you're doing!"

He just laced our fingers together, tugging me along as if vampires went to the supermarket every day.

"Grocery shopping."

His statement said as if it was the most given thing to do on a Sunday morning, for_ undead_ immortals that is.

"Edward, you can't possibly think that I can tag along –"

The subject had never been breached, which only made me more paranoid:

_What do I eat? _

Surely it was obvious and now that I was one of him, it would be assumed. But no, Edward didn't listen; Edward just kept on dragging me through the automatic bay doors. I squeezed my eyes shut, a vice grip on Edward's arms as we slowly made our way into the store. I must've looked insane, but that was becoming quite a common occurrence these days anyhow.

"See?That wasn't so bad was it?" His whisper hot in my ear.

My eyes popped open, searching the aisles of normal people going about their days, grocery shopping. People were pushing carts getting cereal, peanut butter and several items in the produce section.

_All of it looked vile. _

Even as we passed the bakery, everything fresh due to the early morning.

Nothing.

Bizarre.

"I think this is as far down as the rabbit hole goes," I muttered mostly to myself, Edward chuckling.

I raised my eyebrows as he snatched a hand-basket.

"It would look odd if we came here and didn't get anything now would it?"

"What are we even doing here?"

"Shopping,"

"Pointless shopping,"

He grabbed my hand then, tucking the basket in the crook of my elbow then, leaning down to whisper, and smiling.

"No, that's where your wrong little one, they may shop, while we hunt."

He pulled back, waggling his eyebrows, I just shook my head at the idiocy, I still didn't get why we were here. Edward tugged me forward then into the coffee aisle, instead of eying the beans though, he was eying the middle aged man dressed in black.

I gasped then, figuring it out. But when this drew the attention of the human I hurried to grab the closest thing to me, which happened to be a tea that happened to also be a laxative.

"Edward! Just what I was looking for!"

His lips formed a tight thin line, reining in his laughs that I'm sure were in the brink of escaping, I cursed him.

"No sex for you then," I whispered lowly, so only he could hear. I strolled away satisfied as he trailed behind, tail between his legs.

I was going to say something else, but a smell practically ghosted its way up my nostrils.

_It smelled divine. _

Ignoring Edward behind me I trudged towards the front of the store, trying to find that amazing smell.

I sniffed again and my eyes literally drew in the back of my head, my throat convulsed, and this sticky stuff started to coat my teeth, which burned as I tried to swallow it.

I felt Edward grab my wrist then since my pace increased, just needed to see what it was, just needed to smell it up close, I just needed to.

To my horror it was someone I knew very well, my brother.

Emmett.

He was shocked to see me too.

"Bella?" He stopped dead in his tracks, right in the middle of the parking lot, the cold barely hindering me at all, I could see his breath in the air, of course mine and Edward's were invisible.

His eyes turned into slits as he regarded me, and then moved down to see Edward's pale nimble fingers tangled in mine.

Shit.

"Hi – Emmett."

I tried to rein in a smile, but it probably just showed as a grimace.

What do I do? What do I do?

I looked over at Edward, only to see him sizing up my brother.

Men.

Okay this pissed me off

"Wow, Bella – you look…" he trailed off as he tried to find words.

Yeah I guess I would look different, right then I was just hoping not _too_ different.

"Better, and he is –"

Okay, now I know he was doing this on purpose.

"Emmett, you know Edward, a lot longer than I did before."

My huff filling the air between us.

"Hey Emmett, funny seeing you here," Edward stepping closer to shake his hand, which Emmett didn't take.

No, he was too busy eying me; his eyes hard and calculating.

"Is this why you've been acting the way you have?"

This didn't sound good, he pointed a menacing finger over at Edward not even taking his eyes off me, his voice biting and condescending.

Uh oh I knew that face, he was going into older brother mode.

I cannot tell you how many times this had happened in high school I was lucky if I could even get a date to the school dance, all the wimpy guys were too afraid of Emmett to really try.

I glared at him, getting prepared for the argument we've had countless times in the past. The difference now was that I actually cared, back then it was just principal, the fact that I couldn't get a date because of him.

This time the guy actually mattered.

"Emmett don't get all worked up, Edward and I are dating."

Now I felt Edward's gaze burn through my skull, no, he was not happy with the description, but for now he would just have to live with it. I was not going to tell my older brother we were literally going to spend the rest of eternity together –

I stopped there.

Yeah, I guess we really were going to be together.

I turned my head slowly; regarding his eyes and not really caring if I was in the dog house at that moment. I smiled up at him, really _smiled_. This softened him up like butter his lips twitching at the sides, trying to contain the intensity of his smile.

He had gone sappy alright.

Both my hands moved to cup his left, squeezing together as I looked back at Emmett watching the whole scene pan out.

"Geez Belle, you could have told me or something…" he mumbled, looking sheepish for the first time in my life, but his gaze hardened quickly after that, his eyes finally falling on Edward.

"So? You're a Doctor…how old are you again?" I snorted, waiting for Edward's answer because I didn't know either.

"Twenty-eight, and yes I'm a Doctor."

"You have a house, correct?"

"Why yes, that's correct."

"Steady Income."

"Of course."

I rolled my eyes by now.

"Immediate family? I'd like to meet them."

"Emmett! It's not like we're getting married." _Yet._

Edward's eyes dancing.

I growled.

"And you can meet them if I decide you can come along." I grumbled, not even sure if Edward had any family.

"Actually my family passed away quite some time ago."

Emmett and I both stopped our glaring match at this, my throat constricting at this, for my stupidity.

Of course his family was dead, how old was he really? He probably outlived them a long time ago.

I felt my eyes sting as sadness began to well up, that would happen to me, I would watch Emmett, my Emmett grow gray hair and die, I would surely see Charlie pass away. I suddenly looked back at Emmett, I was fighting with him when this could possibly be the last time I see him.

I launched myself at him before I could think.

"Emmett please don't fight me, I love Edward, and everything will be fine, just let me do something on my own for once okay?" I squeezed him to me hard, maybe just a little too tight.

It seemed really quiet after that and that's when I noticed what I said.

I'd work on that later, but for now I just buried my face into his chest, taking in his scent, which was…tantalizing. Without meaning to, I grazed my nose up his sweater, till I reached his scarf covered neck, the smell getting stronger and more delicious.

"Bella."

Edward snapped me out of my haze; I looked back him dazedly, wondering what he wanted.

"What?" My tongue ran over my teeth absently, getting rid of the thick coat of sticky residue that collected there.

Edward grabbed my wrist, encasing his fingers completely around the bone, practically grinding the ligaments together as he pulled me away.

"We really should be going; I have to be at the hospital," his eyes boring into mine.

I swallowed down the metallic froth that was really becoming annoying, confused by the expression on Edward's face, glancing back at Emmett.

"Um, okay, I'll see ya around Emmett." _Probably not._

"I'll call you Bella," Emmett stepping forward, his gaze hard and calculating still sizing up Edward and his hand encasing my own. I nodded, just wanting to leave now before Emmett started asking more questions.

"Okay, bye."

This time it was me who turned around and dragged Edward to the car, hurrying to get in the driver side as fast as possible.

"What was that?" I breathed, trying to collect my bearings by the subtle change in smell, my throat not constricting anymore, feeling like it would just dry and shrivel up. Edward sighed, settling in the passenger seat, regarding me closely.

"Jesus Bella, you about gave me a heart attack, if I could have one."

"What was _that_, I'd never smell something so…"

The car was now filled with silence, which surprised me when Edward suddenly slipped his arm behind my back and under my knees, effectively lifting me up as he took residence in the driver's seat.

"Is this necessary?" I huffed, crossing my arms in his lap.

"Quite." His smile smug, "I'm taking you somewhere, just hold on."

I lowered my head down to his shoulder as he began to drive us, me in his lap.

I must've dozed off because next thing I knew Edward was softly jostling my shoulders.

"Hm?" I hummed, burrowing deeper in his fragrant neck as he chuckled, opening the car door, and letting a breeze of cold crisp, fresh mountain air pass through us. Edward carried me like a child as he stepped out, his arms wrapping around my back tighter as he did so. However, my head automatically perked up when my nose started to twitch by a peculiar smell.

"What is that?" My sense heightened as I took in how quiet it was in this forest.

Edward didn't say anything as he slowly let me leave his arms, stepping onto the forest floor as I wandered forward a few steps, tasting the air.

My eyes shot this way and that, darting through the trees, and dead branches, only bleached white meeting my gaze. That's when I heard it, a snapping twig.

My head darted to the sound, forms appearing through the tree trunks. Hikers.

I gasped, my throat an inferno as it contracted, the same sticky slime coating my teeth as I took in their scent. My eyes widened as I realized what had attracted me so to Emmett.

It couldn't be.

"Edward!"

I spun around to see him staring at me, knowing I figured it all out.

"What's wrong with you! You let me towards my _brother_ when you knew _exactly_ why I had wandered to the store's parking lot?"

I was fuming, hands fisted at my sides, the whole cake and kaboodle. I could take him this time, I could do some damage if I wanted to, he'd regret it.

He just nodded.

I scoffed, pouncing then; Edward was on his back before he could blink. I punched him in the face, pressing my fingers into his ribs, watching him truly wince. The smell was forgotten as I let rage well up inside me instead.

"If you had one caring bone in your body, if you even meant an ounce of what you think you feel for me, then you should at least care two spits about my brother!"

I gasped, my eyes widened as I heard more than one crack. Edward grimaced but said nothing as I felt his bones give under me. I jumped back as if I'd been burned; kneeling beside him silently. I stared as his breath grew ragged, paralyzed to act. After a while he staggered to sit up, his breathing back to normal.

"Bella? Come here."

But I didn't listen, I just ran, feeling nothing but the air whipping past my ears as I picked up speed, fully taking in the new muscles that I had, sprinting faster.

I'd become a monster, and Edward made me this way, not saying he didn't deserve what he got, but from the recent events that passed between us, my conscience simply could not brush aside what I had just done.

I hurt Edward.

And after what he had declared over the past twenty-four hours, I couldn't turn a blind eye to what I felt.

I was falling in love with him, and no matter how bizarre it sounded, it made my actions unbearable preventing it to be ignored.

Perhaps I was blowing all of this out of proportion, but didn't people normally do that when they were foolishly in love? For heaven's sake, I can't tell the last time I could think straight or rationally.

Running back to the house only proved my point all the more. After all I had no other place to go; I couldn't go back to Emmett's for fear of killing him. I scoffed at that, for how long I'd been alive the thought that I could possibly kill Emmett had never ever crossed my mind.

Now the possibility was everywhere, regarding anyone, or anything living, breathing, with a beating heart, and flowing blood.

My throat clenched at the thought, but I pushed it aside with the vicious shaking of my head.

I made it to the closest thing of safety I had left.

Once I was upstairs I strolled to my bed, burrowing under the covers, making sure they were tightly tucked under my chin, reduced to a child's way of thinking.

No one could get me under the safety of my bed, under the covers.

I groaned and burrowed deeper however, when I heard the front door open and close.

I held my breath as _he_ walked up the stairs.

I pressed my head closer to the pillow as his steps came closer.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt him stop at the foot of the bed.

My ears perked, when I felt plastic rubbing against each other.

What was that?

Then the distinct sound of frothing liquid.

I peeked over at Edward, to see him holding a couple of clear bags full of…full of…

"Ed-Edward…what's that you got there?"

He smirked at me, tossing the bags back and forth in each hand.

"Just a little pick me up, that's all."

"I – I" I breathed, unable to take my eyes off the tempting red liquid trapped in those cruel bags.

I sat up off the bed, trying to get a closer look.

Edward's eyebrows rose, taking one and holding it out.

"Want one?"

"I want all of them," I responded without a second thought.

I grabbed the bag out of hands in a flash, tearing open the pouch with my teeth, quickly downing the contents, an embarrassing growl emitting from my chest as the thick liquid slid down my throat as smooth as silk. Without word Edward handed me the second, and then third.

After I was done assaulting the bags, I threw them aside, timidly wiping my lips with the back of my hand.

"Feeling better?"

I ignored him in that moment, taking in his smug tone, just knowing he was thinking 'told you so.'

I sighed, falling backward on the bed, relaxing into the mattress.

Evidently this is what I'd become, would Edward have to keep smuggling me in bags of blood? Because that's what this was, I could never see myself willingly take someone else's blood from them. I knew what it felt like; I'd been there, the fear, confusion, anger and helplessness that came from it. I could never do that.

I felt the mattress dip next to me, trying to ignore Edward as he came closer.

"Bella," his whisper filled the air, his breath warm and soft against my cheek.

"You better make stealing blood from the hospital a habit, because I'll _never_ kill anyone."

My eyes fluttered closed as he brushed the back of his hand against my jaw and up the apple of my cheek. He may have done this to me, but I still needed him, I needed someone to help me through this, I couldn't very well tell Emmett about this.

Edward was all I had.

A dry sob escaped as Edward's arms slithered under me between my back and the mattress, lifting me slightly off the bed as he pulled me towards him, pressing my face in the crook of his shoulder.

"We'll figure this out, it'll be okay, I promise."

"How will this be okay?" I asked disbelieving, pulling away from him.

"What is there to possibly figure out? Apparently its blood for us or we die, how am I supposed to work around that? Either way it looks like I'll end up killing someone." I stated hopelessly.

"You've screwed me over Edward, for lack of better words, you've taken me down with you and I don't know if I can ever forgive you." My voice thick and heavy, even as I said these words, my hands gripped his shoulders tighter to the point where it made him wince.

His eyes changed however, his pupils dilating, his eyebrows hooding his eyes so I couldn't tell what he was really thinking.

"You think I'd apologize about doing this to you. Well, I won't I could never regret taking you for myself. It's quite obvious how selfish I am, and that includes dealing with you. You are mine, and I'll be here with you forever. No matter how dramatic that sounds it is the truth. I _am_ sorry for ever having to hurt you, I wish you'd let me help you."

His voice had fluctuated several different times during his little 'speech'; from hard and patronizing to soft and coaxing.

"I love you; I just wish you'd see it."

I huffed, staring up at him, "Hard to believe since you _did_ set out only to hurt me."

His lips formed a tight line then, silence filling my bedroom, the frigid air still blowing through the French doors, ruffling the satin curtains against the side of the bed.

"I want you, and I always will, I want to be with you. What can I do to convince you that I am sincere?"

I looked away, thinking he's already done enough. But I didn't want him to see that, solely on the fact of me being stubborn.

I rolled to the side from under him, only feeling smothered as I took in the foggy air and overcast skies from the bay windows. This room was so open and I had never felt so trapped.

Edward had made my own bed, and now he was going to make me lie in it.

"Why me?"

He chuckled at this; how he could find this funny I had no idea.

"It just…hit me."

A deep growl resonated within my throat, to have a sense of humor at a time like this, something like him, a monster would have.

I had slept with him too; I had let him have sex with me, perhaps I wasn't cut out for this whole self-preservation thing, seemed nonexistent in my case.

"Just let me love you?" his murmur deep and soft on my neck.

"How can I accept the kiss of a murderer?" My tone may have been exaggeratedly biting and cold, but it made him flinch, which in turn made me feel better.

"You're going to be one too in due time." He quipped, his voice full of anger and loathing.

"I'll die before I kill someone."

This just caused him to explode, his arms thrown up in the air, tossing the armoire across the bedroom, causing it to crash into the walk-in closet.

"No! I won't let you!" His face was mere inches from me then, his teeth grinding together, face seething, temper flaring, eyes blazing.

"You are in this with me whether you like it or not sweetheart."

"There! That right there is what you can_not_ do to convince me you son of a bitch."

He growled then, tearing his fingers through his hair as he continued his little temper tantrum.

"How do you expect me to act when you are being so difficult!"

"Maybe I wouldn't have been so difficult if you hadn't done this to me in the first place!"

"It's a little too late for that angel face! Now it's either you accept it, or I strap you to the bed post!"

I scoffed, rolling my eyes. "Honestly Edward, maybe you should've kept to that threat before you shoved your teeth into my throat!"

We glared at each other for a good 'ol five minutes.

"Now, get out of my house!"

He sneered, patting my cheek with his palm, "The deeds under my name."

"Are you asking me to leave? Gladly –"

He pinned me to the bed before I could do anything else however.

Edward gripped both of my wrists, holding them in one hand while he cupped my face with the other. I snapped at his chin, breaking free has a I threw him across the room, causing him to crash through the wall, sending dust, plaster and fiber glass insulation through the room.

"I buy you a house and this is the thanks I get?" he huffed, brushing off debris from his button down shirt and pants.

"I never asked for one! Or any of this!"

The snap of a twig alerted us to a presence outside. Both of us silenced immediately, our ears perking up to catch any more vibrations through the forest surrounding Edward's so called 'house.'

Instantly, Edward forgot our argument and strode over to me, turning around so he posed a common protective stance in front of me, I huffed at the thought.

"Quiet." He shushed.

As the figure came closer, a growl filled Edward's throat, his back pressing tighter against me, my hands resting against his back to try and give us some space. He was being over territorial, so male.

Edward quickly grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers as he tugged me towards the balcony, taking one silent step at a time as I watched him sniff and taste the air. I tried to do the same, but all I got was fresh pine, melting snow, dirt and perhaps burnt rubber when I drove the Subaru too fast.

Again, he pulled me closer into this side as he peeked over the balcony. That's when I smelled it too.

Neither human, nor animal; someone like us.

I was surprised by the hiss that erupted from Edward's chest as he quickly caught onto a figure moving through the trees. Subconsciously, I gripped Edward's arm, turning more towards his side as my eyes darted quickly between the trunks. I had never met another like Edward's – our kind, I had no idea what to expect.

Was he hostile? Did he plan to kill others?

Edward quietly shushed my thoughts, placing a surprisingly tender kiss to my forehead as he quickly diverted his attention to the figure and the figure alone.

Finally, he emerged from the tree line.

My eyes squinted as the sun seemed to catch every strand of silvery cornflake hair as this creature stepped out of the shadows. His posture was straight and casual however, giving me the sense of comfort.

_Not hostile. _

These new heightened instincts were starting to come in handy.

Edward automatically pulled me behind him, once he saw that he was male. I had no comment; I was too intrigued by the man with sunlight hair that seemed to present himself to us in some sort of truths.

Edward snorted, "You may mean no harm, but we still don't know what you're doing here."

"What?" I asked, for the man/creature had said nothing to demand a response. The man was equally as curious.

Edward glared at the figure below us before quickly turning his gaze to mine; I was speechless as that same intensity diminished, making me think hatred had never been there in the first place.

"It's for another time love, I'll tell you."

I stayed silent as our eyes returned to the form standing ghostly still atop the forest floor.

With a few more seconds and another sigh, Edward nodded and proceeded to wrap his arms around me, without informing me of anything else, he lept off the edge taking me with him as he gracefully landed at the same level as this new creature.

"Sure _you_ can jump off balconies." I grumbled, which the new man chuckled, a twinkle in his…_butterscotch_ eyes!

"Edward!" I gasped, wanting to step closer to see. But he simply would not have it, keeping a stone grip on my hand.

Edward seemed weary of this new fact, as he too eyed the new color in our species.

Seemingly unfazed by our gawking, he stepped forward, offering a hand, which I took (the one Edward was not squeezing the ever-loving crap out of) and was delightfully surprised as he pressed a soft kiss to the knuckles residing there.

Edward stiffened then, a growl filling up the air.

"I mean no harm, like I've said before, forgive me, for my coven and I couldn't help but notice that there were vampyre in this area."

"It's no trouble at all." I automatically stated eager for a distraction to get me away from Edward.

"Well then," he smiled, "Would you like to meet the rest of my family?"

I was confused by his statement, I didn't know Edward's – our kind had families.

I looked up at Edward; too see the same confusion on his face. But he just cleared his throat, pulling me into his side and straightening his shoulders.

"We're very sorry, it was nice to me you, but we are going to have to decline…?" Edward inquired curtly.

"Carlisle." He finished for Edward.

"My name is Carlisle Cullen."

* * *

**Man, by the end of this, their mood swings were giving _me_ whiplash. **

**Anyway...**

**Hope you guys liked it, this story kind of came in spurts. ; ] **

**But whatever I wanted to write, I wrote. **

**So, review, and have a nice smexy day. **


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm back. ^_^**

**I liked this story so much, I've been working on this chapter for a while.**

**Just adding little bits and getting it done slowly.**

**Today I finally came to a stop to where I was happy with it.**

**Not sure when I'll have chapter 5 up but there will be one.**

**It might take a while but that's just so the update can be this long.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

_I wasn't at home. _

At least that's what I kept telling myself as I hid behind the living room curtains. I jumped as another knock sounded at the front door.

_Oh! Damn it all to hell!_

Yes, I should have seen this coming.

Yes, I should have offered more information so he wouldn't become noisy.

No, I didn't think this through till now, obviously.

Of course, it made it a little more difficult to pretend I wasn't here when my new Subaru was parked out front in the driveway. With a deep breath and a determined nod, I strode over to the front door. I had no clue how I was going to play this out or act like nothing happened, but winging it was my best bet at this point.

"Uh, hey Emmett."

"Bella?"

Under any other circumstances I would have giggled at my older brothers dumbstruck expression, fist poised in mid air as he took in my appearance. I was dressed in jeans and a sweater no less, but with my new characteristics as a vampire, I'm sure I couldn't look normal in anything.

When I had first sensed him driving up the road I had quickly tried to straighten up the house, sweeping up my uncharacteristically shiny, curly locks in a pony tail attempting to look more like my old self.

I was still trying to get used to the idea.

We stood there for a good couple minutes until he shook himself out of his trance.

"Well, are you going to let me in or aren't you?" His grimace telling me he was trying to force a smile. I just grimaced in return.

Ten minutes later I had put on a pot of coffee, Emmet sipping his slowly while eyeing me across the kitchen island.

"So, this is what you've been doing? I hear, you hadn't even gotten the job at the Library like you said."

His eyes full of calculation and speculation. I wanted to yell that it wasn't my doing. I wanted to tell him I didn't mean to disappoint him. There's no way he could tell what the hell I was doing at this point. From the looks of things, and the truth I hadn't done anything, nor was I going to.

"So, how's what's his name?"

I huffed and threw my arms in the air at that, he was acting ridiculous.

"His name is Edward and you guys were buddies long before I even knew him!"

Emmett's eyes narrowed, becoming more irritated.

"That's before he decided to mess around with my baby sister."

I rolled my eyes, pouring myself a mug.

"I'm in this too, he didn't decide anything." Now that was a complete lie. I was so frustrated at this and distracted I wasn't even thinking when I took a sip of the black sludge that might as well have been mud. I had to turn around to hold in my gag as I gulped it down with absolute disgust.

_Jesus! That's horrendous!_

"Oh, yeah? So this is where you've been? You could have given me the courtesy of telling me you moved in with him!"

I set the mug down on the counter, my back still facing him as I leaned heavily against the cold granite. This all turned into a mess.

_If only Edward were here. _

I squeezed my eyes shut at the thought, or more so how true it turned out to be. I even had to palm the area where my once beating heart use to reside.

"Emmett, if I knew you were just going to show up here -"

"Its better then using the phone, I haven't seen you in a month, and that was in the parking lot of the grocery store! First you have the accident, then you get sick looking like your almost _dead. _What do you want me to think? And now, now…"

I had to suck in a breath, and hold it as he walked closer to me. Edward had helped me a little in stomping down blood lust, but naturally it would always be there.

"I always felt that Edward was different, of course I just chocked it up to me being weird but now - now you look exactly the same. I mean look at your skin! It's so pale."

I turned my head to look at him, my throat closing up as I took in the worry and concern shining in his eyes. He looked like he was going to say something else, but he stopped himself, shaking his head.

"I came by just to make sure you were doing alright. I want you to be careful, Edward's a shady guy I just don't want you to get hurt."

I was startled when he pulled me in for a hug, I tried to stiffen my arms, I knew I was dangerously close to loosing what little control I had. Painful seconds went by until he finally pulled away with a kiss to the forehead.

"I love you Emmett." I choked out, wishing I could give him a real hug without snapping, knowing that just wasn't possible.

My ears perked up as I heard tires running over gravel not far from the house. That's when I started to fidget.

_Edward._

"You should, you should probably go." I tried to keep the urgency from my tone, but I knew Edward wouldn't be too pleased that Emmett had come over on a whim. With a quick glance at the clock on the oven I noted it was eight o'clock, the sun setting.

Even though Edward and me had been able to come to a truce I wasn't sure if he would still willing kill Emmett if he came in the middle of his plans. Which I wasn't even sure of yet.

Of course Emmett caught on, his eyes narrowing as he took in my shaky hands. This wasn't good, because now it would only be more difficult to get him out the door before talking to Edward first.

"Bella?"

My head snapped to the entry way, my breath leaving me as I looked at him. I was afraid that would never change. That I would never get tired of taking him in. That my whole body would shake at the thought of him. That I would be full of nervous energy upon his arrival.

I was nervous for a different reason however, when I took in the offset of his eyes. They were black and hard, Edward had no patience left in him tonight. Emmett, of course, stepped forward, offering a greeting. Choosing to ignore or unaware of the palpable tension that now filled the whole house.

"Hey there Edward, I decided to come pay Bella here a visit since I haven't heard from her in while." Emmett's eyes were also hard as he eyed him through his statement. As if implying that this fact was indeed Edwards fault.

A cold callous smirk lifted his lips up slightly.

"Yes, it seems like there just aren't enough hours in the day when Bella and I are together."

I glared at him openly so full of anger I crushed the mug in my hands without a second thought. This brought Emmett's attention to me.

"Oops!" I played it out as if I dropped it, rushing to get a dustpan so I didn't leave them alone for too long.

When I had returned, Edward was practically pushing Emmett out the door.

"Now, if you don't mind I'd like to have a moments peace after a day of work."

"Not before I say goodbye to Bella," Emmett growled under his breath.

I walked over to them, trying to keep a level head while staying diplomatic at the same time.

"Emmett, I think its better that you go."

"I agree." I openly glared as Edward felt the need to butt in.

"Just remember, if anything happens you can always come to me Bella. No matter what."

I rolled my eyes, thinking he was being a little dramatic. Yes Edward was an arrogant asshole. Yes he had his moments where I hated him with the utmost passion. But he still wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I knew that much.

"I'll _call _you Emmett, okay?"

He nodded reluctantly before Edward showed him the door.

I wandered over to the window, pushing back the curtain to watch Emmett as he walked to his car and drove off into the night.

"He's beginning to become a nuisance." Edward stated nonchalantly.

I gasped, spinning to face him as he shrugged out of his coat. Without another second I felt a growl build up in my throat, alerting Edward to my anger. He eyed me then, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he wandered into the kitchen, pouring the useless coffee down the drain.

"Now if that's not the kettle calling the pot black you asshole. Why you'd brother coming tonight at all?"

He turned then, sticking one hand into the pocket of his well fitted slacks. Forcing his lips into a tight line he nodded over to his briefcase now sitting on the counter.

"I figured it was about time for a little pick me up. Since you've been locking yourself up in this house from dusk till dawn."

"Oh, how thoughtful," I growled, "Like I've said time and time again, I refuse to hunt with you."

He nodded solemnly, "Yes I'm aware, but your refusal is not going to last for much longer. I'm not sure if I can smuggle you blood anymore."

I crossed my arms around my torso, rooting myself to stand still so I wouldn't rush over to his briefcase like some pathetic basket case.

"People getting suspicious?"

"More or less, I've already had to kill a nurse." A smirk playing on his lips as I gasped, the bastard. All pretenses left his face however as he continued. "And we've hired a new doctor." A deep frown setting in.

"Who?" I inquired, trying to step indifferently to the briefcase attempting to ignore the venom seeping between my teeth.

He sighed at this, running his fingers through in irritation.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen, our new cardiologist."

By the time he stated this I had already opened the case and tore one of the blood packets open.

"He's been wandering around the grounds while you've been gone," I added, starting on bag number two.

He turned to face me then, eyes blazing, fists clenched as he started to tear off his tie.

"He's infuriating! He intends to create a friendship between us." He huffed.

"Well, since he is one of us, doesn't it make sense? I mean we have to stick together or whatever," I mumbled biting into the last bag.

"Not if he keeps preaching to me about the importance of human life, just filthy human beings," Edward scoffed.

I stopped then, really eyeing him. I'd never seen such loathing or disgust when talking about humans. I felt stupid even thinking that I'm different then what I used to be. I tossed the now empty bags into the trash can.

"I used to be human you know. You too at some point, even though that could have fooled me."

He growled, turning his back to me, his body vibrating with impatience.

"He grinds on my nerves and if he even thinks to come near here or come within feet of you I'll kill him."

"Edward!" I stepped to him then, resting my hands on his back, feeling the muscles tense under my touch. With the pass of my fingers moving up and down his shoulders he slowly relaxed.

"He's asked about you, he wonders if I force you to live like this, if I forced you to live with me. To be with me."

"What other way is there?" Deciding to ignore his last statement. He shook his head, refusing to answer.

"Doesn't matter, because I refuse to. And it doesn't matter what he thinks because your mine!" He spun then, his eyes blazing. "I won't be without you. He can't have you!"

I gasped at that, for who would want me? Why would this other vampire want to have me? I couldn't help the shiver that ran up my spine at the thought of being with anyone else but Edward.

I winced as he gripped both my elbows in his hands, squeezing just a little too tight. I ran my hands up his chest, tangling my fingers in his hair at the nape of his neck. Coaxing him to relax with my touch.

"Edward, surely you know by now I wouldn't leave. I could have just run when you were over at the hospital." I tried to joke, but he just sighed, surprising me by leaning down to rest his forehead against mine. My breath stuttered as he stepped closer, pushing me back to lean against the kitchen island, his hips pressed against mine.

"Maybe it would help if we'd coupling a little more," he murmured against my lips.

"Maybe it would help if you just weren't so possessive to begin with," I breathed out.

He growled as he gripped my hips, hoisting me up on top of the counter stepping between my legs.

"When I saw Emmett's truck in the driveway I hated the fact that he could take you away. If he so much as asked, if he truly wanted you to come with him I know you wouldn't object."

Edward's eyes had turned soft and _vulnerable _I hadn't even noticed how run down he looked. The past month must have had a toll on him. I cupped the apples of his cheeks, coaxing him to look at me.

"Don't you remember? I told you I could never leave you. Just because there's this new vampire - coven doesn't mean anything."

I looked off to the side as I stated this. His eyes glassed over. He was thinking of something, I just didn't know what. His neck jerked to the side, making me really wonder what he was contemplating.

But then I heard it too, rustling in the trees. Edward pulled me closer to him, my thighs tightening around his hips automatically. He didn't pull me away at all, he just lifted me up and set me on the counter next to a window that overlooked the trees in the back of the house. Edward's hands tightened on my shoulder blades as he studied the tree line.

I turned my head, straining my neck to try and see out the window.

"Edward, I don't -"

He quickly shushed me with a quick kiss, bringing my tongue into his mouth by lightly suckling it with his own to get me to shut up.

It worked pretty well.

I jumped back as the doorbell sounded. Edward pulling away with a deep, menacing growl that even scared the bejeebers out of me.

"Wait here," he whispered, stepping away with a kiss to the forehead.

I dropped down from the counter as Edward opened the door.

"Carlisle I already have to endure needless conversation at the hospital."

This peaked my interest, I couldn't help but wander to Edwards' side to peek around him. Standing there was Carlisle Cullen, his arms tucked behind him with a pleasant smile gracing his lips as he laid his butterscotch eyes on me.

I couldn't help but shiver, remembering Edward's last statement about him.

"Hello, me and my family are about to go hunting and I was curious if you would like to join us?"

I turned to Edward, trying to gauge his answer. Which I should have already known in the first place.

"How many are there?" I asked, already interested to meet them. Edward turned his head to look at me sharply but I just ignored him.

"Five counting myself." Carlisle answered pleasantly.

Edward's arm slithered behind my back, pulling me by the waist into his side, giving me a tight squeeze in silent warning. I looked up at Edward unfazed, he couldn't scare me and if this was how it was going to be, then I figured I could get used to defying him.

"Why don't we go? Or at least I can." I gave a small shrug of my shoulder, smiling up at Carlisle.

"You forget darling, we just fed, in fact we haven't disposed of the bodies yet." At this Edward's eyes sparkled giving a cold, cruel smile as he glanced back at Carlisle. Guilt rose up in my throat at the prominent wince on Carlisle face. He didn't give any false pretenses in trying to hide it.

I looked down, ashamed and disgusted by all the lies Edward must have told him about me, about us. I pushed away from Edward making a hasty exit up the stairs and into the bedroom. Slamming the doors behind me I leaned against the nearest wall. I was such a fool to think Edward would change in the slightest.

Always so impulsive, cruel and unfeeling, possessive and so demeaning. Why had I stayed? Was it some sort of a pity duty? Did I feel like I must stay with him? Or was it out of fear? Not for fear of him, but the unknown. I didn't know where else to go and I wasn't even sure I could survive by myself like this. By being a vampire.

I heard Edward's abrupt goodbye to Carlisle. And I listened even more intently to Carlisle's forgiving farewell. Always with the pleasantries no matter how rude or unwelcoming Edward was.

I smoothed away the hair that brushed the top of my forehead, my hands shaking as they dropped back to their sides. I wasn't ready when the door slammed. I wasn't ready when I heard his foots coming closer up the stairs. And I certainly wasn't ready when the door opened behind me.

"Bella, why do you do this?"

That was the final straw.

"Why _I_ do this? Why do _you_ do this?" I spun, my hair billowing around me as I face him with as much anger I could show through my eyes as possible.

"I have never hated you as much as I hate you now! You tell lies about me, about us! You paint me as uncaring, vile and conceited. You act as if I can't make decisions by myself!" I huffed, going down the list.

I expected an angry reply, but all I got was a scowl as Edward crossed the room. I watched still breathing hard as he loosened his tie and tore it off his neck, the buttons of his shirt following. It was a little difficult to stay angry when he peeled his shirt off next, the muscles of his back and shoulders bulging.

"I've already told you what I think of Carlisle, I hardly wish to discuss it any further."

"You can't just brush me off! I -" He turned around then, pulling me to him by grabbing on to my wrist. I tried to pull away but his grip was much tighter; his eyes dark and smoldering as he cupped my chin in his palm.

"I'm not brushing you off. Don't blame me for not wanting to talk about someone else when I haven't seen you all day."

There he goes again, practically fluffing out his feathers in order to divert my attention from something we need to talk about. And damnit, it was working as he made smooth passes down my cheek with the backs of his fingers.

"I told you I don't like the fact that he may be contemplating taking you away. Why would I want to hunt with him if that were the case? Especially when his diet is far different then ours, and that's putting it lightly."

I hated it when he started to make sense. He always did this too, putting me in my place like petulant child. His fingers trailed to the back of my neck, titling my head up slightly with a shift of his wrist. Edwards brow furrowed then, his fingers slipping through the restraints of my scrunchy, pulling it loose.

"You shouldn't have to hide your new beauty from Emmett, let him question your stay with me. Let him question my motives, myself," he growled, pulling me to him.

"The important thing is that I'm with you and it will stay that way, its one thing you can guarantee." His hold became a little tighter before his lips descended upon mine. I hated the fact that I could be so weak around him. I hated a lot of things about him. But the thing I could not deny was how I felt when I was with him.

Edward's other arm wrapped around my waist, hauling me up against him as he stumbled towards the bed. His lips were sending sparks and flames through my arms and down my spine. My breathing picked up as my mind grew hazy. All I could think of was him, his lips, his tongue, and hands.

I drew in a big breath as he laid me down on the white sheets. His right knee slowly spread my legs as he loomed over me; leaning on one hand while his other quickly popped the button of my jeans. I looked up at him, my stomach swirling into knots as he met my eyes.

I wanted him, plain and simple.

And if Edward's smirk was any indication, it was plain in my eyes.

"Today was terrible, as if the most insane decided they were going to make a trip to the ER," he murmured against my hair, laying kisses downward, licking the shell of my ear making me shiver. "The only thing that held me back from going on a murderous rampage was the thought of coming home to you."

"Edward," I whispered, shaking my head. I was trying my best but it was a little difficult to keep up with his often change in moods.

His eyes grew soft, his head leaning down to place a butterfly kiss across my lips before unzipping my pants, sliding them down my hips and thighs, tugging them off my feet. I scooted up the bed, trying to prolong this as Edward crawled after me. We hadn't had sex in weeks really, mostly because we always ended up fighting.

Of course like any other girl I just wanted to lay back and let my man romanticize me. But I couldn't forget the fact that Edward kept on with his lifestyle even though there seemed to be another way. Edward had told me about Carlisle the 'vegetarian'. I wondered if animals tasted any different then human blood. I couldn't get that alternative out of my head. I could avoid killing people all together and perhaps I could change Edward's preference in murdering innocents. I also held onto the small hope that would even change Edward. Maybe he wouldn't be so short tempered and angry half the time we were together. His hatred was never pointed towards me, but maybe his change in diet would damper that side of him.

It was a stretch but what else did I have to do all day?

"Hey where are you off to?"

Edward snapped me out of my reverie by dusting kisses across my collarbone, tugging lightly on my sweater. I gasped as he nipped lightly at the bone, my head lolling to the side as his nose smoothed up the apple of my cheek.

"Say we get these clothes off, huh?" His eyes sparkling in the lit room. I lifted my arms in answer, Edward automatically slipping the material over my head.

"Edward, we need to talk."

"Hm, how about after?"

He seemed a little preoccupied as his tongue peaked out to the trace the swells of my breasts.

"I love it when you don't wear a bra."

I was going to interrupt him again by threading my fingers through his hair, but was swiftly silenced as he quickly took one nipple between his teeth. I threw my head back as he bit down, a yelp escaping through my lips. He grinned, his other hand tickling the underside of my other breast, tracing the crease. I was silenced as I looked down, taking the shine of his eyes as he looked up at me through his thick lashes.

My hands ran down his shoulders to his back on their own accord. I licked and bit my bottom lip as I watched his muscles flex under my touch. I tried not to drool as I watched him shift his hips, toeing off his shoes at the end of the bed as he trailed kisses down my stomach. My abdomen clenched painfully hard, causing me to wince with pure need as his hands trailed down my sides to hold onto my hips.

_Please, please, please. _

"Since your asking so nicely," he murmured into my left hip, nipping into the bone.

Edward's thumbs then hooked into the elastic of my panties, tugging them down my hips and chucking them across the room. Without a second thought he delved in, making me jump and moan as his tongue immediately got to work without delay. My back arched off the bed and I couldn't remember what I had been thinking the minute before. Edward's nose poked against my clit causing me to jerk and gasp, squirming away from his mouth wanting him, needing him without waiting another second.

Before he could question my protest, my hands shot out to the buttons and zipper on his pants, undoing both simultaneously. I pushed at a shoulder, forcing him down on his back. Without looking at him I pulled them down his hips throwing his pants across the room, his underwear was history.

Edward growled as I took control, of course he wouldn't have that. With one swift move his arm shot out, grabbing the back of my neck as he pulled me down to him, our lips meeting half way. He pulled me to his side, hovering over me as his hands trailed back and forth up my sides, driving me mad. He kissed my forehead pulled the covers up. With that he pulled me to him, throwing the blankets over our bodies as he did so.

I gripped his biceps as he settled over me, my legs opening to accommodate his hips. My eye lids drooped as I felt his erection press up against the apex of my thighs. I was aching by the mere prescience of his sex, hot and throbbing just like mine.

I couldn't quite comprehend what was happening, it all seemed blurry to me as he buried his face into my hair.

"Edward, about earlier today…" I know I should have kept my mouth shut for the sake of the moment but I had to get this out.

"When Emmett came by -" Edward quickly stiffened, pulling his head back to eye me very closely. His scrutiny only made me squirm under him, my thighs rubbing against his.

"I don't want to discuss your human brother while we're in bed together Bella." Again with his patronizing tone, it made my fists clench.

"When are we going to then? When are we going to do anything? I at least try to make us change, make us better. But you'll have none of it. You forced me in this predicament and you won't even set aside time to help me cope. To at least give me the benefit of the doubt on something you pushed me to do." I didn't think all this would come spilling out, but once I started I couldn't stop. I felt courage to finally say these things and I wasn't going to waste time while that courage decided to dissipate.

He huffed then shaking his head and pushing off of me.

"Your impossible sometimes you know that? I did force this on you. But I do give you time to cope. What else do you do while I'm gone? I give your space, time to think. To be by yourself -"

"But I can't do all this on my own! I can't just get used to the idea by careful consideration and thought! You haven't helped me at all! You do nothing! Except keep me nourished. I'm looking for support, I'm looking for help from someone other then myself, from you." I whispered the last part, turning my back on him as I sat on the edge of the bed. I gripped the edge of the mattress trying so hard to hold onto something solid to keep me grounded.

"You say you're here for me, but I've never felt so alone." I thought it would be a luxury to never have to shed a single tear, but now it felt like a curse. I needed some release, I couldn't cry out my frustration. I couldn't cry out in hopelessness or helplessness.

Nothing, I could do nothing.

I winced as I listened to something slam against the wall. Glass breaking while I tried to ignore his anger. _This _was impossible, I'm sure by now Edward realized I was a far cry from an ideal mate.

"Then help me."

I jumped, startled that Edward was suddenly crouched in front of me. He then took my hands in his, cradling them softly.

"Help me to understand what you _need._ Let me show you what you mean to me. You won't feel at all alone tonight." Kissing my knuckles he looked up at me with a slight smile gracing his lips. I swallowed, trying to decide if this is what we needed what had been lacking for the past month.

Edward wasted no more time with foreplay and pushed me back on the bed, hovering over me with seconds. Gliding himself inside me not long after. I stopped breathing as he slowly filled me up. I gripped his shoulders tightly as his pelvis connected with mine. Edwards breathing was harsh and hurried, his breath washing over my chin as we eyed each other. I bit my lip, twisting my hips a little to get a feel of him, of us.

He groaned, his eyes hooded and dark.

Both his hands gripped my shoulders as I lifted my legs up, bending them at the knee so they both touched the sides of his torso. This caused him to sink further, making us both whimper.

"Kiss me." I whispered, cupping the apples of his cheeks.

I didn't need to ask him twice, without waiting another second his head swooped down to capture my lips with his. I moaned around his tongue as his hips started to move against mine. It felt different and so, so good. It would be the last time we went that long without having sex.

"Jesus Bella, you're not leaving this bed ever again." I couldn't help but giggle at his growl, his chest vibrating against mine.

I kissed and nibbled his neck, leading up to his strong jaw.

"Maybe I'll just tie _you _to the bedpost." I tried to laugh but it just came off as a gasp as he thrust deeper, biting down on his lip. I sighed and tugged him closer gripping onto his shoulders for dear life as his pace quickened. This felt wonderful, I have no clue why I didn't let us do this sooner. For the past weeks Edward's mainly just been at the hospital working double shifts. Avoiding me no doubt, I could hardly blame him. One observer could say I had been intolerable lately, but who could blame me? Of course his temper had flared on more then one occasion, always starting with arguments if he ever did come home.

Each time his hips snapped forwards he would answer my gasp with a groan. This feeling was so exhilarating and delicious I couldn't get enough. To make things even better Edward gripped my left calf, ducking under my leg as he moved it to the side, pushing both my thighs together as he continued slipping into my body with every thrust.

A large growl erupted from his chest, my moans louder before as this gave Edward less space to move in and out. I began chanting his name in earnest, my arms shooting backwards above my head gripping the mattress between my fingers. My back began to arch up off the bed, knowing my release was just a breath away.

"That's it baby, come on, I'm so close."

"Oh god."

It was his gentle, breathless coaxing that did me in. With a loud whimper I threw my head back letting the waves of pleasure take over in spasms. Little tingles ran up my arms and legs causing my toes to curl. Edward hitched me up closer in an embrace, tightly wrapping me up in his arms as my body shook; his release enveloping him as well.

"Oh Bella."

All of a sudden I was overcome with emotion, my throat thick as he rested his forehead against my own. We lay there our breaths coming out in pants as Edward resituated my legs beside him. In a moment of contentment I let my eyes close in bliss. For just one second I could pretend that me and Edward were in a normal relationship. The past few months didn't happen, my existence didn't rely on blood. I wasn't a monster, and Edward and I didn't get into fights every hour. It wasn't that difficult either with him placing butterfly kisses allover my face.

For now, I would just let myself relax next to the man I was starting to get feelings for. Perhaps I had them all along. I let my eyes flutter open as he quietly said my name. I couldn't help but smile back as his lips curved up.

"That was - something else."

"Your telling me." I bit my lip.

With silence between us Edward pulled me to his side, wrapping his arms around my waist. I sighed, resting my head on the same pillow he was lying on. My brow furrowed, resting my hand on his cheek as I smoothed my thumb under a purple eyelid.

"You need to hunt."

Edward nodded, his eyes trailing all over my face.

"I will, but for now…" he trailed off, laying a kiss on my forehead, moving down to my lips. I felt him harden against my thigh, his arms coming up to rest by my head as he leaned over me once again.

This time was much slower and gentler as we swallowed each others moans and whimpers. I was breathless with air I didn't need by the time he finally settled next to me, my hair a mess of tangles around my face.

I listened to Edward getting dressed as I stared up at the ceiling.

But before he could leave the room I shot up from the bed.

"Edward!"

I clutched the sheets to my breasts as he turned around, surprised by my outburst.

"What if, what if I told you we could go hunting together?"

Edward turned around completely, giving me his full attention at this news.

Before he could get anymore ideas though, I continued.

"What if we tried animal blood? Just this once -"

Edwards face dropped, automatically knowing where this conversation was going, we've had it before.

"Bella, we've talked about this, and I refuse to subject myself to something so vile." His face contorting in disgust.

I glared up at him, running my hands through my hair to get it out of my face.

"You know what I find vile? The fact that you continue to kill people even when I have expressed how much I hate that you do. And yet you do nothing."

He sighed at this, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I am sick of this Bella, every minute we are fighting. Every minute we are raising our voices at each other, I am tired of it." His eyes looked down at mine then and I really saw fatigue in them. His eyes were pitch black, purple bags forming under his eyes as if he lost sleep.

"We have already discussed this, I have my preferences and I have worked to stick to yours. You could at least offer me the same courtesy."

In theory his logic should work. But then I turned and thought about how I felt every time he left to feed. I pictured who he would pick that time, maybe a mother, or a father, a beloved brother.

And then I thought of Emmett.

And Charlie. _Dad_

"I can't. I can't stop thinking of the people you are killing while I sit here and do nothing. As if I do not care. I won't drop this because you wont even try what I am suggesting."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes as he averted his gaze out the window.

I laid back on the bed, staring at the wall as I thought of the situation I had found myself in. Sometimes I couldn't believe that I was actually here, that this was happening. Months after the fact I still had trouble.

I jerked as I felt Edward smooth his fingers down my exposed spine.

"If I say yes, will you still be angry with me?"

I quickly turned around, eying him closely. I didn't see any deception or falseness in his eyes.

"Only if you mean it."

He smiled at this, smoothing his fingers down my arm, tickling the skin and causing me to shiver. Edward slowly reached the hem of the sheet, tugging gently. Biting my lip, I let him release it from my hands, the air cool against my bare chest and arms. He cupped my breasts in both his hands and suckled each one, his eyes never leaving mine. I tried to keep his gaze but my eyes eventually closed, a low moan escaping my lips.

"And you'll…" he continued, tracing his tongue around the ridge of my left breast, "come with me?"

I nodded slowly, cupping the sides of his head as he went on with his ministrations. There was something about me being completely naked under him, fully dressed. Edward licked his lips then, his eyes hungry, a smirk gracing his features as he stood back up his full height.

"Perhaps another time."

I gaped as he then left in a rush, leaving me a confused heap in the middle of the bed, sheets tangled between my legs.

And that was the straw that broke the camels back.

I fumed, striding through the forest after just leaving the house. Edward was probably long gone by the time I had managed to calm down enough to step out of bed and dress without tearing down the entire house. I had no clue where I was headed, but I had a hunch that once I reached where I was supposed to go, I wouldn't need to.

They would find me.

I headed the direction from the tree line that faced the master bedroom and wandered into the unknown. I was walking blind in every sense of the word. I'm not sure if I had any intentions in leaving for good. But Edward wasn't budging an inch, I had to do something. Maybe a wake up call.

If I felt so inclined as to leave, then I would.

I could at least make him believe that, no matter how untrue it really was. After all, I don't think he really believed me all those times I told him that I would never leave him. I didn't even believe myself. His mood swings and falsehoods were so erratic, it was hard knowing what I really thought or felt in those fleeting moments either.

For now, it was time to meet new people - so to speak.

A peculiar scent reached me which took up my attention. Moving my head to side took in a rather large elk grazing. It was alone in a break of trees. I had never heard opportunity yelling at me so loudly then it was at that moment. It made me think back to Carlisle's approachable, soft butterscotch eyes. They were so lovely, I suddenly wanted those for myself.

Already I could feel the vice that encased my chest release its hold. No longer would I be tied to human blood. I wouldn't be forced to do anything against my will that I didn't want to do. No longer would I _have _to be bound to Edward. All these possibilities, all these new doors opened up, helping me make the easy decision.

I had never hunted before, but in opening up my senses, it made it easy for my instincts to take over. Before I knew it I was already at the Elk's side, pinning it to the spongy forest floor and diving into its neck.

The warmth was definitely new, used to cold plastic tasting blood. I closed my eyes and listened to the heart slow under my hands as I took long pulls. It took a while to get used to the texture, this blood obviously thicker for quite an animal.

It wasn't long until the animal carcass laid still under me, drained completely dry. I stood, wiping my lips and not sure what to think. It was still taking a life, but I took comfort that this life did not end in vein. It was certainly better then taking an unsuspecting innocent. People ate animals everyday.

I heard a rustling in the leaves, my head perking up to catch the sound.

Fright was the first emotion that coursed through my body, raising the airs on my arms. I jerked my eyes back and forth trying to catch sight of anyone. What if they were human? What would I do then? I'm not sure if I would be able to resist without Edward there helping me.

Perhaps wandering off by myself wasn't such a good idea.

I gasped as someone stepped from under the canopy of a tree. I turned my head to the side, looking up the branch in a high tree. There was indeed someone perched on its branch.

"Hello?" I asked timidly, stepping backward just incase.

"Are you the one Carlisle spoke of?"

My shoulders relaxed somewhat at the mention of a familiar name. Surely someone who knew Carlisle couldn't be too bad?

"Is he near by?" Wanting to see a familiar face.

The man pursed his lips, as if giving it some thought.

Next, he jumped from his perch, landing gracefully and silently on the forest floor. My eyes wandered his curly honey locks, watching them sway just below his chin as he stepped closer. He too had butterscotch eyes.

Before he could say anything else however, the clearing was interrupted with a burst of energy.

"Jasper! Seems you've found a stray."

I swallowed as another appeared through the trees, this too having corn silk hair. Did they all look alike? Could vampires breed?

This one was gorgeous, there were certainly no looks that could possibly rival hers. I ducked my head as they came closer, my fingers fiddling with the shredded thread at the bottom of my sweater. Must have happened with my struggle with the Elk.

This feeling of self-conscience was not knew and I felt a wave of dread at its familiar reunion.

"Stop it Rosalie, I think you frightened her." She scoffed at that eying me up and down. Unlike the others and Carlisle's her eyes were a muddy color. Hers were different.

"Do you have a Sire?"

My lips parted at the question, I guess I was still technically a newborn, did I look lost? Perhaps I was frightened and confused. But that did not call for their patronizing scrutiny. I glared for their question.

The blonde beauty only laughed.

"What's with all the fuss?"

I had never been relieved as I was when Carlisle decided to appear through the hedge. His bright butterscotch eyes immediately landing on me.

"Bella. A pleasant surprise." His smile soft and welcoming. I slowly took a step towards his direction.

"Hi."

The two looked at him in question.

"You know her?"

"Yes, I do. She belongs to another vampire nearby."

I was surprised by the snarl that automatically escaped me.

"I do not belong to anybody."

Carlisle eyes gleamed sympathetically.

"With the way he talks, I was only given the impression that you do."

My fists clenched at this, wanting to go back and run far away all at the same time.

"I don't belong to anybody." I repeated.

"I like this one Carlisle."

"Rosalie, quite teasing. Bella, would you like to hunt with us? I see you've already started." Carlisle smirking at the body lying at my feet.

"I - um…" I thought of Edward. I wondered if he had went back to the house and found I was missing.

"Okay."

It was an odd thing to think about, let alone see. The thought of a vampire 'family' was weird no doubt. They lived together, hunted together and even had a house tucked away in the woods, far from prying eyes.

"I don't, I don't know." I paused at their porch, wandering even if I should go in. Carlisle was always polite Rosalie had warmed to me but Jasper kept a quiet distance.

"Nonsense Bella, you are welcome here, we don't meet many of our kind who are willing to try out our diet."

"Um, okay." I nodded meekly, my thoughts had never strayed far from Edward.

Soon the door was opened and I was met with two others. A pixie with jet black hair, and snow white reincarnated with auburn hair. I was immediately taken back by how beautiful they all were, definitely feeling out of place.

The littlest one enveloped me in a hug and the other greeted me with a very warm smile.

"Bella I'd like you to meet Alice, Jaspers' wife and Esme, my wife." My eyebrows immediately shot up to my hairline, unaware that he had already been taken.

That took out Edward's theory that Carlisle would 'whisk' me away.

"Um, Hello." I waved awkwardly.

My fingers tangled with one another, beginning to fidget I knew Edward would be blowing up with rage and worry by now.

"Bella, what's wrong?" Esme scrunching her eyebrows at me.

"I just, I have to-" Man, at this rate they won't even know I'm capable of organized thought let alone putting together a proper sentence.

"Edward." Carlisle interjected knowingly. I hated the fact that's what Carlisle thought of Edward; could be right in some aspects in the way you viewed him. Sure Edward could be controlling sometimes, but I was pretty sure his intentions were honorable in the grand scheme of things.

Deep down.

So why did it sound like I was trying to persuade myself?

"Is he your mate?" Alice jumped in now. "I'd like to meet him, is he close?"

"Closer then you'd think." Jasper cut in this time, diverting his attention towards the pane of windows out looking the field that sat in the middle of the forest. I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut as I then smelt Edward, his scent filling my senses as he came closer.

"And he is angry."

I sighed, balling my hands into fists and getting ready for the shit storm that was surely going to follow.

Two bangs sounded at the door, poor excuses for knocks. Before anyone could get to the door, it burst open with a fuming, very furious Edward. I was frightened, for this time, the possibility that Edward's anger maybe pointed towards me.

This may have been correct for his eyes immediately settled on mine.

"Edward." Carlisle stepped forward in front of me.

I had never been so thankful, I couldn't get out of my head the fact that his eyes were now blood red, boring into mine in his fury.

"Carlisle, if you don't mind that we skip the pleasantries, I'm going to take Bella home."

"Bella was just about to sit down and properly meet my family, if you'd care to join us."

I saw Edward's jaw clench his eyes landing on me once again. I was agitated by his behavior but I was tired of this. I never minded staying inside the house because I didn't want to wander out where I could compromise someone else's safety. But now that there were other people that I could actually talk to other then Edward, I wanted and needed to get out more often just to retain my sanity.

"We will both have to pass."

His eyes wandered back to mine, and I immediately ducked my head down. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of these people they seemed nice and I would like to see them again, so I stepped around Carlisle and made my way out the door without one glance in Edwards direction.

I heard a collection of byes but kept on walking, knowing that Edward would soon follow. I sighed, kicking sticks out of my way as I slouched through the trees. Not angry but just put out, I was too tired to be mad. I felt defeated and indifferent. If Edward wanted to treat me this way, then I would put up with no fight. He would leave during the days for the hospital then I would be left alone to my own devices.

I felt his foot steps trudge towards me, disturbing the peace that fell over the forest.

"Bella what were you thinking!" He yelled, catching up to me and grabbing my arm.

"Just because you choose to do something doesn't mean that I have to do it also."

"What? You wander off where I can't even find you, or pick up your scent! I had to wander deeper into the woods then I had ever gone until I finally picked up your smell. I thought something terrible had happened."

"I'm not breakable anymore Edward. I can take care of myself."

He growled at this, his nose flaring and teeth showing. I had never seen him so angry the way he looked now reminded me back when I did fear him. I glanced down at my hands avoiding looking at him.

"I've given you the option to leave, and you have chosen to stay. I do not understand why you insist on torturing me like this."

"You're the one being tortured? You insist on locking me away, if I am not with you, you won't even think to let me out of the house on my own."

He groaned at this, running his hands through his hair.

"That is exactly why I won't let you out." Pointing in the direction we had just come from. "I don't know them Bella. Vampires are very different from people."

"You don't know them because you refuse to give them a chance. They could be good for us, for you."

I watched as his teeth ground together, jaw rigged.

"If this is just another ploy to get me to drink animal blood then you are out of luck." He stared me down, stepping closer as he examined my muddy brown eyes with disdain. I immediately looked the other way, refusing to stand under his scrutiny. Edward didn't like that, grabbing my chin, forcing my face to look up at his.

"We are our own family, and in this family, I forbid you to drink that filthy animal blood."

I snapped my head out of his hold, anger building up in my veins.

"How can you not feel filthy when drinking from humans? You are right when you say vampires are different people. Do you not feel anything? How can you not _feel _their terror, their pain. How can you not see it in their eyes? Every time you drank from me that's how I felt."

A cold smirk lightened up his features then.

"If I remember correctly, you enjoyed it near the end."

I should have been angry, I should have slapped him or done something. But I just stared in disbelief. How could he be so cruel? I thought we had made leeway I thought he had changed. And now he stood with such hatred and cruelty in his eyes I couldn't even stand to look at him.

And I had given myself willingly to him. The thought sickened me. How I could have ever comprehended tenderness, or warmth in those blood red eyes was beyond me.

"If I leave it wouldn't be because you gave me the choice. But because you pushed me away." And then an interesting but disturbing thought entered my head.

_Was I the first?_

Or had he done this other times?

It was stupid of me to think that after the many years that this creature would have lived had he only done this once. Only claimed a mate once. By his cruelty, malice and possessive nature I doubt that would have been the case. Had other women undergone this situation too?

Chewing on that thought I walked past him without looking back.

Weeks past that felt like decades. I shacked myself up in the house because I had no where else to go. The first week Alice had come to ask me if I wanted to hunt with them.

I turned them down.

Eventually she stopped coming around the third week.

I know this was stupid and in no way to live, but I had an eternity to get used to it. Certain that I would have many chances to make up for this period of solitude.

I hadn't seen Edward since that day in the forest.

Another month.

This time I am confined to my bed.

By now I have run out of energy to move.

So that makes it two months since I had hunted with the Cullen's.

I call myself a coward but I am afraid. Afraid for what Edward is doing alone. Afraid of actually dying. Afraid of withering away painfully, slowly.

I hated being a newborn, I felt subjected to so many emotions all at once. Sometimes I couldn't concentrate on thinking because I felt so much. I knew I was being ridiculous for the dramatics but now that I wanted to act I was still too afraid to go outside.

I hadn't fed in so long, I didn't trust myself with others. I knew the second that I smelt blood, I wouldn't think, just act.

I worried that Edward had slaughtered the whole town by now.

And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.

They did.

I smelled him long before he even showed up at the door.

My Subaru was parked out front, he knew I had to be here.

"Bella?" A couple knocks.

My fingers gripped the edge of my bed, the sheets shredding between my fingers. My muscles were vibrating with retained energy.

Nothing had ever smelt so good to me.

Nothing had ever smelt so wonderful.

I had never wanted anything _more_ then what I did then.

The smell, the tang I could already feel on my tongue was so enticing, so seductive.

I was an idiot for never tasting warm, human blood before.

My eyes slipped closed as I tried to concentrate on that smell alone. My head fell back and my throat constricted as I swallowed mouthfuls of thick, sour venom that secreted from the glands between my teeth.

"Bella, are you there?"

His familiar voice was enough to snap me out of it for a second. I flew off my bed and into the near by corner near the balcony, trying to get a lungful of fresh air. That only cause his scent to envelope me more.

I felt terror grip my throat then, squeezing it and nearly choking me in the process.

I had never been so afraid.

I brought my knees to my chest, burying my face into my pants, hoping he would just go away.

_Just go away. _

I kept repeating it for I don't know how long.

"Emmett, please go away." I choked on a dry sob.

The scraping of a key in the lock yanked at my sides.

Oh no.

How did he get a key? I had never given him one. Once he had insisted on having a spare key. But I knew Edward would never warm up to the idea.

"Bella."

A lump lodged itself in my throat as I heard that voice.

My head shot up as he entered the room. His eyes scanning the room until he finally found me in a crumbled heap in the corner.

I should have hated him. I should have ignored the fact that he was even there. But I couldn't do this alone, I couldn't be alone. I was still so new to everything.

Finally I broke down. Edward striding to my side of the room and dropping to his knees as he took me in his arms.

I knew then that I wanted him, I needed him. Or else I wouldn't be able to live this life alone. There were other vampires sure, but they weren't him.

And that's when I knew no matter how cruel he was no matter how many people he killed. I would always want him.

I would forever be bound to him.

Whether it was against my will.

Or whether he gave me the choice.

If he pushed me away, I would only push right back.

* * *

**Everything seems a little chaotic but I do have mapped out on what I want to happen.**

**Hoped you liked it.**

**And hopefully you'll be seeing an update from me in due time.**


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